Near Death

• Artist: XxXEmo_Insane_MuffinXxX
• Description: A little girl that sees the grim reaper and tries to excape him
• Date: 10/13/2008
• Tags: near death

My heart pounding in my chest as i run to my class. I burst through the door. "Mrs.Spehar I'm here!!!" I said and ran over to my seat. "Please katie be quiet," Mrs.Spehar said with a little anger in her. After school ended I walked home with my bffl Darkness. i call him that because he said he didnt have a name. "So,how was class today?" Darkness said. "Pretty crappy like everyday."
I said. "Eh...i g2g bye," darkness said and ran. It started to get dark and i heard noises....but what could it be? something was behind me...i can feel it.
I slowly turned around and saw a big black dark boney figure. Its eyes glowing red and it was reaching for me!!! i slowly backed up and ran. I turned back around to see if it was following me. It was gone!! thank god!!! so i headed home again but POOF right in front of me there it was again!! Panic was rising up in me i knew i was gonna die...i grabbed a wooden bat from one of the boys that live next door to me. I swung at the figure and knocked its haed off and broke its bones. the street lights came on and i noticed i just killed the grim reaper!! wow who ever knew that? So i finally headed home and got into bed and fell asleep....but i wasnt alone......

Comments

[Alice M Summers]

um

[Admara Tanier]

Same comments as the rest. All the ...'s bad idea. You could have added that the grim reaper has a clock and such. You're supposed to spell check your stories before hand.

[Mermaid Sequins]

...what...?

[Shelley_runyon]

Atrocious grammar and spelling. There is no real story here. Read a lot, and then read some more. Childish, immature and unformed.

[Kanneric Knite]

i guess it has potential, but the grammar and spelling really suck and the flow is really choppy

[Abstract Owl]

The bones of potential lie ready, but if you're going to submit something, slow down and actually flesh it out. It sounded like you just wrote down a short series of texts to your friend; by the power of greyskull, write out the god damned words. Describe things. Have a lucid plot. Develop at least one friggin' character! Sorry, if this is harsh, but seriously, try. You have a potentially good idea, but it can't move without