• The Mushroom men are coming to visit and I am turning green. They call me everyday and tell me the Muffin man is going to kill me, but does he ever come? No. So the next day I went to the Skittles mountain, right next to the banana pyramids. At the Mountains I found a giant bloody spider. He is the Muffin mans cousin, twice removed. He told me that to find the Muffin Man I must travel to Atlantis and fight the mighty giant squid. But the Giant squid died the next day of cancer. His corpse was so large it destroyed Atlantis, So I went to Japan to find L. L told me that he is not too fond of the Muffin man and that he wishes the Muffin man would die. I went next to Light and he said that the Muffin man hates raisins. I hired a Penguin Pastry maker to kill the Muffin man. When the job was done, I killed the penguin and went to his bakery. the pastries were quite delicious. Then I found a human finger the pastry. It tasted pretty good, so I just kept eating. I finished off all the penguin's food and nuked the bakery and went home. The penguins got mad at me and sent their armies to my house. I KILLED THEM ALL. This is why I am always covered with blood on the second tuesday of July.