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once upon a time,
a long time ago in a beautiful kingdom there was a princess.the princess never wanted a husband so she refused every Suitor. the mom and dad were worried she would never choose a man. the king and queen tried and tried to get her to marry but she refused. she ran to her room crying she asked herself "why is my mum and dad making me marry?'' she thought and thought "they know i don't want to marry but why are the making me do things i don't want to?" she thought. she fell asleep. but while she lay sleeping she is kidnapped. the king and queen woke up and went to wake up their sleeping daughter. they found her not in her bed they started panicking. they searched every bit of the castle but no princess. they started a search party to try and find her. it took years to find her they began to give up all hope of ever seeing their poor daughter alive again. the princess was among the forest animals for years. as nightfall came she lay sleeping. as she slept a prince of whom no one knew saw the sleeping angel. at that sight he fell in love he grabbed her put her on his horse and rode to the castle beyond the mist. he laid her on a soft marshmallow soft bed and covered her up and blew out her candles. he left the room shutting the door behind him. the prince lived alone in the castle after the battle every one in the village died or ran away. the king and queen died of a terrible illness leaving the castle to the prince. the princess woke in a castle not knowing how she got here. she went downstairs and saw the prince. she saw him and for the first time in her life fell in love with the prince and went down for breakfast. they had ham and bacon and some tea. the princess couldn't stop gazing at the prince. he couldn't stop gazing at the princess. she said to him "i am princess Alia of the elves".the prince said "princess Alia i am prince Caleb i was traveling when i saw you you seemed alone so i brought you to my castle". she said i miss my mom and father . "i was kidnapped by some one i don't know who i escaped him" she said as she gazed. they got married after the day was over and they lived happily ever after the end
- by Keeper of nightmares |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/08/2008 |
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- Title: the lost princess
- Artist: Keeper of nightmares
- Description: a princess story
- Date: 08/08/2008
- Tags: princess elves
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Patroness - 12/26/2008
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- Cliched much? Why yes, it is.
- Grammar is lacking here, it shouldn't be.
- Use spell check.
- Pace yourself.
- Make us care about the character before throwing her into a situation.
- Hold my attention, or else I won't stick with it
- Describe the scene. Don't tell me, show me.
- You've been rather redundant. ( EX: on a soft marshmellow soft bed'.)
- No walls of text. D:
- Make emotion.
- Need to ask a question/advice/crit.? PM me.
- Remember, everybody starts somewhere. - Report As Spam
- Keeper of nightmares - 08/10/2008
- i have problems with punncuation don't bite my head off XD
- Report As Spam
- DomoKaiile - 08/08/2008
- you should have edit it!
- Report As Spam
- Ethlora - 08/08/2008
- It's so cliched and not to mention the total lack of proper grammer. 1/5
- Report As Spam
- Breezy_lime - 08/08/2008
- i liked it evn tho it waz short!!!
- Report As Spam
- Bubblegum Bishonen - 08/08/2008
- I liked the story, but there were a bit of errors...
- Report As Spam