• Gordon entered the door to his home, after a most tiresome day. Not only did his boss fire him, he sued him for the damage he had accidentally caused to the company’s office equipment. It all started when he bumped his head on the ceiling, causing his table lamp to somehow end up all over the floor. All the way to work he hit red lights, kids jaywalking, and a couple “hit-and-runs” that collided with his car. Once in his cubical, things went from bad to worse. The Linux computer he was forced to use broke its’ keyboard, imputing no other letter but J. This frustrated Gordon to the extent of which his fist came smashing down on the desk. The paperwork he spent all night on slid off the smooth surface, and landed in the paper shredder. He then hurled the monitor across the room in rage, where it landed on his boss, and exploded. Of course his boss didn’t like this, as earlier Gordon had somehow managed to get coffee and oatmeal all over his boss’s new suit, so the rest went without saying.
    Now Gordon was home, and he felt that the only way to cheer up was to end the day. The best way to do that, was to waste hours and hours staring blankly into the screen of his television. He stumbled across the room, tripping every here and there, until his left foot got caught in his goldfish’s bowl, while his right got caught on a wire, causing him to fall, and break his nose on the telephone. This didn’t phase him. In fact, he was almost expecting it to happen. Without further adieu, he crawled over to his T.V. set, and slumped back into his favorite armchair, which collapsed to his utmost delight. He didn’t care. Instead, grabbed the remote, which poured a large amount of battery acid down his arm from the leaky Sturdycell brand batteries inside. He nonchalantly washed his quickly dissolving hand into the goldfish bowl (still stuck to his foot), and smiled.
    “Who’d have thought?” he chuckled, as he switched the Television on manually. The screen cracked, and fizzled. Static showed on the set, along with a very annoying buzzing sound. Gordon tried switching the channel, but it only maxed out the volume, causing the noise to extend into the neighbor’s house. He then tried turning the set off with the dial, but only the stereo reacted, hooking itself to the static, and blaring the obnoxious sound of dead air down the street, to where the police department sat. It was bingo night for all the officers, and they were having a wonderful time when that noise interrupted them.
    Again Gordon made an attempt to turning off the T.V. this time with his foot. It worked, as soon as his heel crashed through the screen, the set ignited into a burning wreck of silence. He watched the flames for a while, as they extended their arms along his wall, and up to his stereo system… when suddenly his entire house gave way, and flattened itself to the ground with a heavy grunt.
    Gordon emerged from the rubble, and grinned. “That was fun!” Then he began to go into hysterics, running up the oak tree, and falling back down onto the pavement. Then he got up and did it again! It didn’t matter to him whether or not his nose was already broken from his trip through the telephone, he didn’t care, he didn’t care at all!
    The police officers paused their bingo to investigate, only to find a large pile of house debris, and a loon running up the trunk of a tree, and falling back on his face to get back up and do it again. They arrested the fiend for “disturbing the peace” and went back to playing blackout, where the chief won a new shiny catcher’s mitt, and a balloon.