• The Lords of the Rock: The Fellowship of the Ring of Destiny

    The Rock has changed...
    I can feel it in the strings...
    What once was great now sucks...

    It all began with the forging of the great rings of Rock. Three were given to the Elves the immortal, wisest, fairest of all singers. 6 were given to the dwarves drummers and bassists of the great mountain halls. And 9 rings were given to the race of men who above all else desired the secrets of the rock to improve on their awesome guitar abilities. Each race used their rings to create massive mosh pits and celebration for the good of the world. Another ring was forged; better, faster, and stronger than all the rest.

    -Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath Plays-

    In the Cool refreshing taste of Mountain Dew, one ring was forged, one ring to rock them all. And in the darkness bake them cookies. This ring was the source of all the others power. But there were those who wanted to abuse the power of this ring... Sauron, the evil Guitar-Lord, was not given a ring and was pissed so he invaded the land of Moredew and took the ring and the Dew for his own rocking. This pissed off alot of people. An alliance of Men, Elves, and Dwarves marched to Moredew to overthrow Sauron as Ruler of the Dew.

    -Hanger 18 by Megadeth Plays-

    On the slopes of Mountain Dew the armies clashed and the good side seemed to be winning until Sauron came out with his guitar and played a massive solo which was destroying the front lines of the good side. Then Isildur, son of the kings, took up his father Les Paul 1980 custom and cut the Ring from Sauron's hand. Sauron's rock meter immediately plunged into red and he failed the solo. All his powers gone he broke into a bazillion pieces and was gone.

    Isildur took the ring for safekeeping in Gondor, but before he could reach the safety of the walls his convoy was attacked by Orcs.
    Isildur donned the ring and used its ability to hide from fan girls to escape the Orcs. However the ring had other plans, it betrayed Isildur. Deeming him not worthy it slipped from his hand and into a river.
    Ages past, the ring passed into memory, then legend. After all that time the ring was found by Smeagol who took it into the Sierra Mist Mountains.

    -Sanitarium by Metallica Plays-

    Being too weak Smeagol's mind was poisoned by the Powers of Rock. Rock took over his mind and soul. And the ring, after about 500 years decided to leave him. The rock left metallica, uh, I mean Smeagol. And was discovered by the most unlikely of creatures, a Hobbit of Rock. A Hobbit by the name of Ronnie James Dio Baggins. Once Dio Baggins picked up the Ring he felt its excellent powers, and he knew he had to leave the band he was in and start a solo project. So Dio Baggins left Smeagol behind and went back to the Shire of Rock. There he would create a new band, a great band, a band that would change the future of rock alltogether! So Dio Baggins began writing of his excellent adventure, in song, of how he found this great Ring of Rock. "There and Back Again, A Rockers Tale." By Ronnie James Dio Baggins.