• Colonel Mustard considered doing the deed in the ballroom with the candlestick. However, due to poor scheduling on his part he was obliged to attend a conference on fire safety that had come about when his eldest and most handsome son committed arson and burnt down a small hat shop a mile down the road from the very place that Colonel Mustard stayed for a nice Christmas holiday last year.

    Mr. Green fancied committing his crime in the billiard room with the wrench, however, Mrs. Green (the poor soul) took her plumbing classes on Saturdays and the man found himself without a murder weapon. Confused was he, for he forgot and immediately assumed (as he was likely to) that his wife had left him and stolen his very favorite tool. Brokenhearted, he died of an unknown cardiovascular disease several days afterward.

    Professor Plum is and has always been an incompetent fool, incapable of hatching a plan with any merit whatsoever. He attempted to off Mr. Boddy in the Kitchen with the knife but because he is so utterly idiotic he failed to show up to the right house, or bring the right weapon. The residents of the home a few doors down received quite a surprise when a man dressed entirely in purple and wearing quite the perplexed expression himself showed up on their steps holding in one hand a bottle of cola and in the other a Russian doll.

    Miss Scarlet’s hormones raged on as she devised her cunning plan. It involved the revolver and the hall. She didn’t take into account, however, that she did not own a gun and the hall in the host’s house was currently non-existent due to frequent tampering with the space-time continuum and the theory of life and reality itself. When she tried to enter the room she was sucked into a vortex that sent her all across the universe eventually landing her in Disney’s Headquarters where her career took a different turn when she landed a role in High School Musical.

    Mrs. Peacock was not invited to this particular party. But were she invited, she would have planned to use the rope in the conservatory. If this didn’t work (which it wouldn’t have) she would have reconsidered her life and pondered if she made the right decision those many years ago in Paris telling Patrice that she just needed some alone time and running off. She would have decided, ‘yes, it was a mistake’ and run off to France to try and make up for it.

    Mrs. White had everything planned out. The lead pipe was hidden quite well in the study, but was rather distracted by an interesting book on the shelf titled ‘Good Help Is Hard to Find, but Don’t You Think There’s a Reason’. So involved in the book she did not noticed the pipe disappear slowly and enter the void of lost socks and guitar picks. She didn’t mind at all actually, seeing as she now held new insight into her own mind.

    The only reasonable explanation for Mr. Boddy’s death is: the Lounge in the Dining Room with the Library.