• Sir Henry Baskerville and Dr. Mortimer were ready uponthe appointed, and we started as arranged for Devonshire. Mr. Sherlck Holmes drove with me to the station and gave his last parting injunctions and advice. "I will not bias your mind by suggesting theories or suspicions, Watson," said he; "I wish you simply to repot facts in the fullest possible manner to me, and you can leave me to do the theorizing." "What sort of facts?" I asked. "Anything which may seem to have a bearing however indirect upon the case, and especially the relations between young Baskerville and his neighbors or any fresh particulars concerning the death of Sir Charles.
    Upon it's publication in 1897, Bram Stroker's Dracula was seen as nothing more than a slightly cheesy thriller, if an unusually successful one. Most such "shilling shockers" were forgotten within a year or two. But this one was different: Over the course of the next century Count Dracula, he died of Zombie horse cow AIDS. The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo. The Dallas Cowboys coach had put together the perfect team for Dallas Cowboys. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. On 11/4/08, Obama slayed the McCain dragon with his Mighty Sword of Change.
    The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Dallas." Bubble gum contains rubber. In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones: Bhutan. Scientists this week decoded the first confirmed alien transmission from outer space. Here is the text of the message that they decoded: "This really works! Just send 5*10^50 atoms of hydrogen to each of the five star systems listed below. Then, add your own system to the top of the list, delete the system at the bottom, and send out copies of this message to 100 other solar systems. If you follow these instructions, within 0.25 of a galactic rotation you are guaranteed to receive enough hydrogen in return to power your civilization until entropy reaches its maximum!"
    A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch. "Yes", Said the pirate. "It was the first day with the hook." When you are over the hill, you pick up speed. Mother nature is a b***h. Cecil "Cec" Staver, a former Weld County Cooperative Extension agent who went on to become the state's 4-H program leader for 28 years, died Tuesday morning. He was 99 years old. In 1967, Staver was presented the 50th Anniversary Medal by the Federal Land Bank Association and over the years was honored by several state and national organizations. He served as a trustee on the National 4-H Foundation from 1962-1964 and he and his late wife, Ruth, donated $28,000 for a 4-H endowment through the Colorado 4-H Foundation.