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Depression (prt 1; 1st grade)
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tab Heather was only 6 years old happy girl, in first grade, never payed attention to the obvious things that should be payed attention to. She never thought of "him" as bad just that his way was the only way. She didn't expect "him" to be apart of what happens to her in the future, she didn't even expect the future that was coming. She was to happy, to careless to notice the obvious things around her.
tab I walked through the front door of the house coming home from school, the first thing i notice is that first it was quite,quieter then normal. Second that their was a lamp on the floor and glass from the light bulb everywhere.
tab "Mom," i called trying to sound indifferent. i don't think it worked, i could hear my voice brake a little.
tab "What is it dear?" mom called and rushed into the living room, where i was waiting. Their was a bandage on her arm and a big square band aid on her cheek.
tab "What happened mom?!" knowing already to well what happened.
tab "I fell," she said in a weary voice. lying obvious even to me, who is oblivious to everything. she's a bad lair. She didn't fall, he was "teaching" her again "good" and "bad."
tab Then "he" walked in. "Yep, she fell pretty hard to she was arguing with me thinking that we should go ALLLL the way to New York just to visit her mom for a few weeks. Do you know how much money that would cost? That would be throwing away over three months worth pay check. Can you believe that Heather?"
tab "No," i shuck my head fast, i know enough that to not get on his bad side. He don't "teach" me the same way he "teaches" my mom. The way he "teaches" my mom is by pushing her into a door or hits her... hard. He "teaches" me by basicly punching me in the top of the head, hard enough to leave it throbbing for days.
tab "Anyway, I'm going to go to the bar and hang out with Jeff. See you later," he left with a big smile on his face like he was proud. It made me sick, like i was about to through up, i could feel my happy-go-lucky expression on my face change to one of torment and helplessness. My mom gave my a worried look.She suddenly grabbed my arm and ran to her van.
tab "MOM WHAT? WHAT IS IT?! WHERE ARE WE GOING!?" It took me by surprise. What happened wile i was at school? Was it finally so bad to where we would finally run away? Could we run away? Would he find us? We where finally in the van everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Nothing seemed real. Was this the day, the unexpected day, that we would finally be free?
tab We went to the court house first my mom yanked me out of my seat and stared to pull me inside. Everything was back to normal speed now i was trying to pay attention to what mom was doing, but my mind wouldn't let me. This is how I've been oblivious to everything for so long and for as much as i have been. My mind. I guess its trying to protect me. Or maybe it's self like if i finally let everything that has been going on sink in it would consume me... starting with my mind.
tab "Heather?" i heard, still dazed. "I'm going to make him go away O.K." whats going on my mind is still trying to make me oblivious to what is going on. i concentrated really hard on what sh just said.
tab I was just staring at her for a wile when it finally sunk in. We're not going "HE" is! HOW? What was she doing?!
tab After that day i never saw "Mike" again.
tab I asked mom a couple of times what happened to him and she explained it to me each time. My mind was still being protective. I didn't get it. So i stopped asking knowing i'm not going to understand. It made me feel stupid. Not understanding something i thought would be so simple if i could just understand.
tab We moved after first grade ended my mom would have made me move sooner if i didn't beg her to stay. so she let me finish first grade.
END OF FIRST GRADE
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Title:
Depression (prt 1; 1st grade)
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Artist:
fallenxangelx13
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Description:
"Depression (prt 1; 1st grade)" is about a 6 year old girl named Heather who is finally relizing the bad things in her life like the main resion for most of the faults in her future are because of "him."
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Date:
12/22/2008
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Tags:
depression
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