The Hacker: The Beginning

• Artist: UniversallyUnstable
• Description: Chap. 1: Incoming! Stephen has landed
  Chap. 2: The Trouble starts
  I'm sorry my chapters aren't long, they were longer until Gaia completely took really long to load and didn't save a single chapter!
• Date: 02/07/2009
• Tags: hacker

Chap 1

Stephen had just awoken from sleeping, but went to his laptop. "Blah...blah...blah! When will she ever announce some news with importance! I blame the government." he said going back to bed for a nap. When Ring! his cell phone rings. "What now..."
It was Beth, his best friend. "Yo Skittles!"
"Hi...I guess..." he said pleasently although he really hated the nickname "Skittles".
"hurry go to....."
He disconected the phone, so he could go back to sleep.

Chap. 2

He kept having dreams about him dying, but somehow reincarnating into his form. "The he.." Were the lasts words he said, before he woke up. He then saw all his messages they all said. "Get up and go to the park!" From his friends. As the 12 year old ran he had forgotten to turn off his laptop, for it held confidential knowledge from the FBI, and then the house was broken into.

((Who broke into the house? I know, but you'll have to find out, but comment telling me who you think broke in? Stephen, Beth, His father, his mother, his sister, his other sister, Rico, Nick, Alena or Danielle.))

Comments

[Paramore2789]

Yikes. The chapters were to short, and the information to scarce. Please read my work!

[-Deathly Destruction-]

This is rather disjointed and awkwardly written. Some of the syntax is completely off on a few of the sentences and don't sound very good. What could help this is a little proofreading before you publish. You might have a good concept here, but it needs a LOT of polishing up.

[Clapper Cheeks]

im taking a guess. Rico? Lol.

[UniversallyUnstable]

Xyaierya, I know this is Retarted! I was bored, I was babysitting, the children were asleep, and I was bored so if you have any bad comments SCRAM!