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Prologue:
tab There is a small town just South of Corpus Christi, Texas. It is just the right size, with apartments, and hotels, and homes sprinkled here and there. A supermarket, a mall, some restaurants, a skateboard rink, the beach. Schools, sporting events, people. Many, many people. The adults wake up every morning, wishing their children well, then heading off to their various jobs. The small children wake up, gather their things, and wander off to the bus stop. The teens do the same, spending more time on their hair then their studies.
tab There is one teen, however, that is somehow different.
tab On the street, Whitten’s Ave., there is a large, beautiful home. This is where the Shades family resides. The home would be quite large, if it not been housing not only Dr. Roy Shades and his beautiful wife, Nancy, but also, their seven daughters: Jasmine, Belle, Alice, Minnie, Cindy, Wendy, and Sally.
tab Jasmine is the oldest, now a freshman in college. Belle is 17, and the senior class’s favorite person to be around. Alice is just a year younger, struggling to get her license and stay on her beloved sports teams. Cindy is the eighth grader, straight A’s in all of her classes; the apple of her teachers’ eyes. The youngest, Wendy and Sally are twins. Identical twins who are the fascination of eleven-year-olds everywhere.
tab The middle child, the fourth girl, is Minnie Kaite Shades. Standing at a height of five feet and one inch, she is perhaps the shortest student in the sophomore class at her high school. At school, Minnie is the popular one, adored by the gentlemen and envied by the ladies. Her black hair cut short and a thin clear contact over each striking blue eye. Though this is not the only life that Minnie knows. After school, she has a secret that no one knows. One that comes alive every day from 4:30 to 6:00.
tab This is her story.
- by SilverDayDreams |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 03/08/2009 |
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- Title: Secret Life of Minnie Shades
- Artist: SilverDayDreams
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Description:
Just the intro. The actual story is in first person. Hope you like it!
Please comment and be honest!
Thank you so much!
EDIT: A lot of people say that it needs more explination, but what you need to understand is that the point of the intro is that it doesn't explain much, so you're goign to have to read the actual story to understand it. - Date: 03/08/2009
- Tags: secret life minnie shades
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Comments (5 Comments)
- InkheartKitty16 - 04/15/2009
- its pretty good but wheres the rest?
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- xXRainbow_PixieXx - 03/21/2009
- Yes a little more exlpanation would help a lot. But all in all, I think it will turn out to be a very nice story.4/5
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- Winevy - 03/10/2009
- Slow it down a bit and explain things more. =)
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- SilverDayDreams - 03/09/2009
- Hmmm, i think you might be right...and thanks for saying that. I actually want people to criticize my work! So thanks!
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- Mycalina - 03/08/2009
- I don't mean to sound unkind, but it seems as though you're forcing the story. Perhaps rethinking the sentence structure(just the punctuation would do it, I think) could alleviate the problem?
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