• I could feel my breath deepening, I sat down for a little and got back up. I thought I heard my name but I kept running. I went into the locker room and got dressed in my normal clothes and threw my gym clothes in my locker. I walked into the cafeteria and stood by the door waiting to be released. Courtnie's guy bestfriend came over. I was kind of mad at her for ditching me for him, but oh well. "Why you mad at Courtnie? Why you avoiding her?" I looked at him and sighed. "I'm not" Then Courtnie walked over with an angry expression. "Wasn't avoiding you, I was just running" She crossed her arms and said, "I was calling you" I gave her a wierd look "Guess I didn't hear you" That made her even angrier, "Whatever" she walked off. I know I probably shouldn't cry over that, I mean.. if she was a REAL friend she wouldn't have forgotten about me because of Lance. I wouldn't have forgotten her over the guy that I liked. I walked into the hallway and stopped. I looked at my Guy Bestfriend. He started toward the exit and I followed. When he was at his locker I paused a second then kept moving I heard him calling "HEY, BRITTNEY" Behind me but I kept moving. I climbed onto my bus and sat in my seat. I turned my music on full blast and silently cried. A few people kept asking me whats wrong but I kept shaking my head, I disliked it when someone worried about me. I climbed off the bus, and there she was waiting for me.



    At first I ignored her and kept walking. I thought she was going home but she just kept following me. I closed the door in her face and locked it. She sat there the rest of the day waiting for me to come out. 12:30 a.m. She finally left.
    I hope she doesn't start making fun of me behind my back to her friends. Thats what my last ex-bestfriend did, I wish she wasn't my ex-bestfriend because she knows almost all of my secrets. Then again I know hers and if she rats ME out I can rat HER out. Its not like she cares how I feel anyway right? She completely forgot about me today for her stupid boyfriend. I was so deep in thought, I didn't notice the figure by my window. They knocked on it and I about jumped straight into my roof. I walked to the window and found Michael's face there. He's my guy bestfriend. I opened my window and he climbed in. He shut the window and climbed onto my bed. "So, what was up with you today?" I sighed and he jumped down. He hugged me. I didn't want him to let go, but he did. He looked at me, waiting for me to explain, and I whispered.. "Courtnie is mad because she thinks I ignored her today" He nodded and hugged me again, this time not letting go. Thats how I liked it. I breathed in the scent of him. He whispered, "I really like you Brittney" I giggled, and as soon as I heard it come out my mouth I slapped a hand over it. He chuckled and whispered, "Want to be my girlfriend?" I smiled and nodded yes. We stood there swaying back and forth. He lifted my head up, with his finger under my chin. He kissed me. All my life knowing him, this is exactly what I wanted him to do. Only in the rain. Later, he left.



    I walked to the sidewalk and waited at the bus stop, praying she somehow wouldn't make it to the bus stop and I wouldn't have to look at her. She hurt me really bad, left me alone, put me in pain.. Not that I didn't have enough pain before what she did. I still don't get WHY she did it, I mean.. What did I ever to HER? Exactly, Nothing. So you get my point here right? I nod to myself, as if I were talking to me, but not to me at the same time. I felt like a bloodthirsty vampire who was thrown in the light and left to die by his own prey. I will NOT be the first to say I'm sorry this time. Last time I was the one mad at HER and yet I was the one who had to apologize? Thats really messed up, just like my life. I sighed and saw her walking towards the bus stop. DANG IT! I screamed to myself. I knew I was going to have to apologize, because she wasn't. I'm not sure why I feel like our friendship is worth something when its not. I don't want to let anyone else in ever.. I knew this was going to happen why did I even believe it wasn't going to? I cursed myself. I climbed onto the bus and sat in my regular one-person seat in the back. When she sat down I turned my music full blast and could tell that she knew better than to talk to me when I was angry and upset. She turned hers up, not full blast though, and looked out her window. I was happy when someone sat next to her and blocked her from my view. I saw that one kid walking down the sidewalk and thought of how great his life must be. I imagined him the way I used to be.. when I still had both parents, before my cousin killed herself with drugs, and before my Aunt inhabited my life and became just like my cousin.. a life destroyer. Just then, our bus pulled into the school lot. I turned off my music, I threw Courtnie's coat at her (She'd dropped it) and walked off without another movement towards her.



    I sat in my homeroom watching as people talked and laughed. I had another bestfriend, but she was absent today. I layed my head down and cried silently.
    Why am I crying? I'm not sure. It wasn't my fault she got so uptight. I will NOT say sorry. She can go ahead and spread crap about me, I mean.. what else can she do? Its not like my life is bad enough. People wouldn't believe the crap anyway. Alot of people like me but I choose to be with the outcasts. I think they have alot more personality than those "Popular" people. Walking to my first class I saw her. She was about to say something to me, but I started talking to someone else. Then I walked off. Survived it so far. 4th hour came, the only hour I had with her. She didn't look at me, didn't talk.. and she cried a little (No one but me saw or even cared) It pained me to watch her cry, but I wouldn't say sorry this time. After class, she tried to stop me, but I kept moving. Suddenly everything went black. "WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME? I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE!" then... I heard nothing. An hour or so later, I woke up with a bunch of worried faces around me. "Seems, since Courtnie hit you as hard as she could, you have a concussion Brittney.." YES, I screamed in my, I can finally die. Everyones face turned confused and sad, and I realized I was smiling. I stopped. "Predicamentally, your going to die in 2 hours.. we didn't catch it fast enough" People started crying, and Courtnie bursted in the room screaming, "THERES GOTTA BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO!" The doctor clicked his tongue and shook his head no. She ran over and took my hand, whispering
    "I'm sorry Brittney, I really am.. its just.. I thought you were ignoring me and I didn't want to be proven wrong so I acted mad at you, but I wasn't and your my bestfriend, and I love you.. and I don't want you to die and I wish I never would have hit you so hard and gave you a concussion." I told you all.. I would NOT be the one apologizing this time. An hour and thirty minutes later.. The doctor told us all that they had made a mistake and I did NOT have a concussion. Everyone was really happy, but me.. I was looking forward to dieing. We left the hospital.. I took a ride with my boyfriend though.


    I sat the passenger seat. "I Love you" He kissed me and I whispered, "I Love you too" He drove me home. This week was about one of the craziest weeks of my life, I thought. It had its ups and downs. I layed on my bed, exhausted.
    My life was so messed up, yet I chose to keep living. I will do that until I lose Michael and Courtnie both. But until that day, I will continue on with my terrible and regretful life. I guess its not that bad, compared to other peoples..
    But, thanks for reading biggrin .