• HEAD AND SHOULDERS eek
    When I moved to my new flat I was very happy but when I worked out that the whispering voices that I can hear when I put my head under the water in the bath belong to dead people I wasn't happy any longer, particularly because I realised that every time I put my head under the water when I had a bath the voices were slightly louder than the time before.
    I tried not putting my head under the water when I had a bath but every ******** time curiosity got the better of me and I had to try it just for a second just to check and of course, even half a second of that sort of thing would bother anyone.
    I keep asking the landlord to put a shower in but he prevaricates and says things like what do you want a shower for thats a lovely old bath thats an antique that is look at it it's Victorian you'd pay top dollar for one of those at the reclamation yard.
    It's all right for him. He hasn't got ******** dead people talking to him every time he washes his hair. /////

    IDEA

    I had what I thought was a good idea. I was thoroughly sick of myself; I was bored, angry and irritated with the person I had become. My early years had seemed quite promising, but when I realised exactly what that promise entailed, my enthusiasm for who I was died, as if introduced to a vacuum.
    My idea was to reach down my throat with my fingers, grab hold of my insides, and pull them out of my mouth./////another

    scent of a woman

    I got into a fight in the perfume department of a large store. It wasn't my fault; I had been trying to choose a nice scent for my new girlfriend and there was a scuffle to my left. The perfume ladies backed away. I was filled, at the time, with a sense of invulnerability that came with having recently fallen in love, and I stepped forward to quell the incipient violence.
    Naturally I was punched, knocked over and kicked in the face, but the broken bottles of perfume released such an incredible bouquet that I afterwards remembered the encounter with a degree of fondness.//////
    It is not Irony it is punishment