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tab The lights from the buildings radiated into the sky above and around the city, illuminating it from the nights’ natural dark state and making it appear as though the city itself was stuck in eternal day time. Masses of people flocked to and fro along the sidewalks which would leave one in question to someone who was visiting the city for the first time; did anyone in this place ever sleep? The majority of the people were probably only passing through, so this town probably had not slept in a good century. Though, at the moment it was none of his concern, none at all. Yes, the crowds, scents, sounds, and taste of the city all irritated his sharp senses, but there was no time to complain as he forced his way against the main flow of bodies on one of the many packed sidewalks.
tab Before him, his target moved swiftly and unnoticed by the humans, but, the girl was slowing down as her stamina faded from her worn and injured body. He had to wait; biding his time for his pray to leave the mainstream of people so that he could grab her and finish off the tedious hunting job he was assigned. But, of course, things never go as planned or how you want them when you begin you grow impatient. The number of people grew as they got further into the core of the sleepless city, forcing him to fight harder against the oncoming current. In the brief moment he took his eyes off of the girl while struggling to keep up with her, she was gone. A sound of annoyance escaped his mouth as he pushed through the people to his left and made a break for the vehicle laden road. With a further few swift movements, he had launched himself into the unnaturally warm night air above all of the crowds.
tab Gliding through the air gracefully, he grabbed a hold of one of the numerous flashing signs attached to the side of a building on the other side of the street and used it to propel himself forwards. In turn, from the force used, the sign creaked from the stress and sparks showered down onto the crowds below as it continued to break, no longer from the sudden assault on it, but from its own weight. Ignoring the screams of shock and the shouts of terror, he continued to fly through the air, occasionally landing on different objects sticking out of the side of the buildings. As he paused on what he landed on for barely a few seconds, his eyes frantically searched for the missing girl beneath him. It was in the moment that he leapt back out into the open area above the road did his sky-blue coloured eyes catch a hold of the small figure of his pray lying on the ground in one of the rare side streets that was untouched by neon lights.
tab Landing on the scaffolding he paused, half hanging off of it, as he watched a man step out from the gates. The shadow of a man shook the girl a bit before kneeling down further and picking her up in his arms before proceeding to carry her back where he had come from, the gates closing behind him. Grinding his teeth, he lunged forwards in the direction of the small alley way and landed roughly; thus causing him to attempt a break roll until he had safely slowed down before automatically springing up, already back in motion. He reached the gateway and looked in; surprised, he took a step back to get a broader view of what he was behind the gates.
tab In front of him was not what he was expecting to see, which turned out to be an empty lot. To be more precise, an empty lot filled with garbage; ranging from old tire wheels to the left over food thrown out for the stray animals by the near-by restaurants.
tab “Impossible…” the dark-skinned male muttered out slowly as he retook the step he had just previously retracted and placed his hand on the gate. But the moment his hand touched the rusty metal, his body was thrown backwards as if someone, or something, had tackled him. Had he been a normal person, he would have ended up either on the floor or against the opposite wall; though, he thought as he landed on all fours, maybe it was because he wasn’t a normal person it had occurred. Scratching his head, he pulled out a cell phone from one of the many back pockets of his cargo pants and began to dial a number. Once he was done, he didn’t waste a second as he began to sprint towards the wall next to the gate, the phone grasped tightly in his hand as it began to ring as he jumped up and rebounded off of the wooden wall to the other side and grasped the railing of one of the buildings’ metal fire escapes.
tab Soon enough, he was gliding back across the street to the scaffolding where he had just been. Taking a seat on the edge, he let his legs hang freely from the shaking scaffolding and brought the phone to his ear. It was then he took the time to gaze on the chaos below. His presence was still unknown to all of the busy bodies underneath him; they were now crowding around the sign that had finally given way to its own weight and crashed down onto the path below. The echoes of sirens blared through the canyon of buildings as he listened to the phone ringing until it was finally picked up and a strict female voice spoke. Knotting his eye brows, he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as if in anticipation of what was to come when he told the lady on the other side of the phone just what she would not want to hear.
tab “We have a problem…”
- Title: Soul Generics [Working Title]
- Artist: Xaica
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Description:
This is something I've been on-off writing for the past while, and what I've posted is only the prologue of the story. I'm curious to see what people have to say about it, so please leave a comment, good or bad; all criticism is welcome <3
Just a side note, it's still a rough draft, so it's nothing perfect, so please keep that in mind if you stumble upon grammar/spelling errors (I think I got them all in my proof read) ^^;
- Date: 06/25/2009
- Tags: fantasy mystery modern
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Ame_To_Ame - 06/28/2009
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I saw several small problems, but not enough repetitions of the same issue to make it worth mentioning. It WAS slightly troublesome though, when you spelled the word 'prey' and 'pray'. You did this at least twice. The first time, I had to read the sentence again because you completely lost me with the error.
It's also kind of a stereotypical place to end. It seems silly to me.
Also vaguely hard to read, though I can't pinpoint why.
4/5. Not great, but more than I expected from Gaia. Nice job. :] - Report As Spam
- Alectix - 06/25/2009
- (whoops lol too much) ...I give you that. Please keep writing. The pull of vampiric and werewolf qualities in stories do intrigue many of us ^^
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- Alectix - 06/25/2009
- It pulled me in and honestly that's something rare lol. I would suggest dragging the reader on a bit more before you begin to hint at the fact that your main character is not human? I dunno, it's an idea :] Also, you have some very detailed sentences that carry on a little longer than normal, though I admit detail is important and they aren't really run-on sentences, I'd try to change, add, or delete a couple of words or so? :] It's a very interesting prologue, I give you tha
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