• LOST SMILE.
    The Second Piece.







    H    er second letter looks lifeless in my hand.


    My Heidi,

    The sun’s up so pretty good today. No signs of rain. My momma told me it’s gonna be sunny all day, so I must stay home. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten our deal this afternoon. Are you still up for it? Get your map ready and I hope you’ll be all set for the hunt. Same place. Same time. I’ll see you later.

    Yours,
    Seiri



    I don’t know what’s up with her, when instead of working on our lab project, she had persuaded me to go on a scavenger’s hunt.

    A week has passed since her first letter to me, and now I got this. We talked often now. Or was is only me listening? And she did the talking.

    On the corridor, after class. She discussed about her plans for our project. Supposed to be ours. But then, she might as well claim it hers. I don’t mind. My first impression of her seems to break like shell, making way for an either an ugly duckling or a swan.

    “I’m planning of observing little rabbits at the hillside’s forest. You’re up for it?”

    “Hey, Cheng…” I tried to interrupt, but then it's weird, I kinda like the idea, so I let her go.

    “The only problem is,” she seemed to realize I’m up for it. “I don’t know the trail at the hillside. I’m new here, as you know.”

    “Y-yeah.” I stammered, and feel like I’m the new one here after all. She spoke like she knew me all her life.

    “But you know the place, right?”

    Another nod, and a blank gaze at her, from me.

    “Good.” She gave me her first smile and went on with her talking, “Well, we can scout the area tomorrow afternoon, hunt for a good spot and be familiar with the terrain. Tomorrow four pm, at the trail’s arch?”

    I swear I could have disagreed or stopped her from talking, but then, all I did at that time was to smile. Smile back at her and nod. Oh, did I nod? Maybe I did, ‘cause she walked off, saying, “Okey, then… see you, Heidi.”

    That was it.

    Maybe she can read mind. But how on earth did she know about my fondness of that forest trail? That I know every tree, every bushes, every slit between the pines where sunlight pass through.

    It’s odd. Entering the forest would mean entering my life. But then, that’s weird… I haven’t seen any rabbits at the forest, little or big, there’s none. She must be imagining things. I see the future of our project now… it’s gonna be all blur. Oh wow, did I just say, ‘our’ project?




    All these happened more than a decade ago. And as I sat here at the last row of the train, that memory seemed all so new. We did make it to go on the trail that afternoon. I arrived first at the trail’s arch, where our town’s name was written on bold. I felt awkward to have been there first. I don’t want her to think I’m all excited about it. I just want her to know I’m true to my word, and that I’ll never get lost to find the place. 'Cause she's the one new here, and not me.

    Several minutes passed.

    Five or six.

    She arrived, when I was about to worry she won’t come, or she’s just making fun of me.
    But she did come.

    We did scout the area. I led the way through the same trail I’m walking on every morning.

    Into the clearing where I breathe in fresh air when I felt like breaking down when my parents divorced.

    At the side of the brook, where I used to sat alone to dip my feet to remind me I’m still alive.

    Through the thorny bushes, which I often thought, doesn’t any flower bloom in here?

    Outside a cave, where I’ve never dared enter, not of the fear of what’s inside, but for fear, I may not make it out.

    And of course, through my favorite spot—a sturdy rock among a field of dewy grass, where I usually spent my mornings to enjoy my own company and rest.

    She remained strangely silent as we walked through. She did the listening now. And I, with the talking. From then on, I realized I was breaking from my shell too. I was just afraid, she might see me as an ugly duckling. But in any way, I don’t care. For me, she’s a swan.

    At that afternoon’s sunset, more than ten years ago, I found my best friend.

    And she found me. Like a swan.

    I placed her second letter back to my journal. Folded it the wayit was before. But the words rang on.


    My Heidi,

    The sun’s up so pretty good today. No signs of rain. My momma told me it’s gonna be sunny all day, so I must stay home. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten our deal this afternoon. Are you still up for it? Get your map ready and I hope you’ll be all set for the hunt. Same place. Same time. I’ll see you later.

    Yours,
    Seiri




    It feels like she was whispering those words now on my ears. A decade apart. I felt like still hearing her.

    My best friend. We never were apart.

    Never apart, I wish. I’ll see you later too.