• "There has to be something wrong with you," Alix said incredulously, staring at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

    "Nope," said Cole easily, "I feel fine."

    "No, I mean, there has to be something genetically wrong with you," clarified the brunet, watching in horror as Cole continued his work.

    Alix threw his hands in the air. "No sane person does this, Cole," he exclaimed.

    "Guess I'm ******** insane, then," he replied, picking up the knife.

    Alix ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Don't do this," he pleaded, "I'm begging you."

    Cole only glanced at his boyfriend. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, Alix," he said sadly.

    Alix could barely look on, the fear and desperation he felt almost eclipsing him as Cole lifted the knife.

    "DON'T-" Alix shouted, but it was too late.

    Cole viciously stabbed the knife downward, driving it into the creamy peanut butter and levering out a huge dollop onto the slice of bread. He eyed Alix, who cringed as Cole spread the peanut butter, and then dipped the same knife into the jar of jelly.

    "I can't believe you would do this to me," whispered Alix, his voice thick with emotion.

    Cole shoved his sandwich in his face as he returned the pb&j to the fridge and passed by Alix. Taking the sandwich out of his mouth, he swallowed and said, "Dude. It's a sandwich. You're still gonna want to ******** me tonight, and I'm still going to say 'Sure.' Get over it," and patted him on the shoulder. With that, he left the room, presumably to contemplate string theory...or watch The Girls Next Door.

    Alix stood and found, quite unfortunately, that he couldn't argue.