• Jacob Renold's Journal Entry #1

    tab I think I'm gonna ta' get ma' revenge soon. Tha's why 'm writin' this. Maybe things won' turn out so great in the end. Afta' all, I am 'bout to murder someone.
    tab I know I've done alotta 'orrible things in ma' life, some things...unforgivable. But this...This time, I know I'll be lookin' back on with no regrets. This morning, Dr. Doc tol' me ma' "first project". It involved...eliminating the murderer of ma' father. The real one.
    tab Mr. Powers...He had it comin', an' it sure as hell will come.
    tab 'S been nearly four years since he was brutally murdered, by tha' man. Mr. Powers. And I coulda forgave 'im. Maybe. Maybe I coulda forgave 'im, if din't go 'head an' pin the crime on Stace's father. One thin' ta' go 'head an' murder someone, 'nuther to go on framing someone else.
    tab I don' know why he did it. All I knows is this: He di' it. Tha's all I need ta' know. Tha's mo' than 'nuff reason for me ta' "murder" 'im. But puttin' it like tha' jus' doesn' seem right. 'S not murder when ya' givin' someone wha' they deserve, right? Tha's justice.
    tab Anyway, 'm no' writin' this ta' make difference of justice an' murder. I wanna ta' tell ya' what 'appened. How I know 'bout wha' went on wi' Mr. Powers. Like I said, 'bout four years ago, I learned one thin' one person neva' knew. Stace. Stace always was thinkin' her dad di' it. I neva' tol' her, but I knew the truth. Din't start out like that, though. A' first, I was jus' as lost as Stace.

    tab When I learned about my dad's murder, I was all kinds of upset. You know the feeling? Like when you lost everythin', an' you just knew you wasn't gettin' it back? My dad...The only person in the world who care fo' me. Loved me and cared fo' me, like any father should.
    tab Unfortunately, the same could not be said 'bout my mom.
    tab Well, I guess she wasn't 'xactly a bad person. But somewhere 'long the line, whetha' that was between all the jobs she had went through or whatever, she sort of...forgot. Kind of like she forgot she was a mother, or something. Like she forgot I even 'xisted. When I asked 'er somethin', she'd jus' kinda brushed me 'side, maybe wi' a li'l "Later, Jacob" as she wen' back ta' work on the computa'.
    tab But, she cared about dad. Oh, hell yeah, she did. Kiss on the check then, kiss on the cheek there...Couldn't contain 'erself! And when she learned 'bout his murder...She wasn't jus' upset. I could tell, she was much mo' than that.
    tab She kept askin' me, "why, why, why, why?" Like I knew. But she wasn't askin' me. She was askin' 'erself. And then, in a flowin' river of tears, she tells me somethin'. She says,
    tab "Jacob...If he's gone, what reason do I have to live now? Please tell me that. Please tell me why I should go on now." Din't answer her. Nothin' I could say to that. Most 'a my life, she'd ignored me, and now, she was askin' me questions. I wasn't goin' ta' answer her.
    tab So, the next day, she shot herself, square in the head.
    tab I shoulda been 'least upset she was gone, 'specially wi' the way she went an' all. But I realized somethin', then.
    tab I hated 'er. Killin' 'erself, leavin' me alone, leavin' me ta' face the death of my dad without no one ta' comfort me...I could neva' forgive 'er.
    tab Was she expectin' pity? I wondered. 'Cause there was no way I was pityin' 'er now. Not after what she did.
    tab When she asked me wha' reason she had ta' live, the answer shoulda been clear ta' 'er. Me. I was the reason ta' live. I was 'er son, after all.
    tab But she didn't care 'bout me. Only had eyes for ma' dad. One set of eyes fixed on 'im. And no one else.
    tab Regardless of ma' blinded hatred fo' my mom, I couldn't help but be even more angry at Stace's dad. I even 'eard he did just 'cause he was drunk. No real reason. Nothin'.
    tab But 'ma anger, 'course...subsided, when I 'eard I had it all wrong that Friday. When I leared the truth.