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Ashley Darkwood
Ashley walked out of the school’s double doors feeling happy.Her damned cheerleading practice was over. Now she could finally go home, and hang out with her best friend Victoria. They had been friends since the third grade. Ashley closed her car door and started the car. She drove a Hummer, a yellow one to be exact. She had to dricve seven miles to her house. Her house was big it actually had a name “Grove Manor.” She walked into the kitchen, and looked around. Where was everyone? Victoria was supposed to be there. She shook it off. Her intuition told her to leave, but she needed a shower. Her bedroom was painted a deep purple. It was a simple room with a full bathroom, but nothing big. She took off her clothes and jumped in the shower. She enjoyed taking hot showers, rather than cold. Ashley washed herself then got out. She put on her favorite pair of jeans and a pink tank top. Her house had three stories; the top had her bedroom, the family room, and one of the kitchens. She had to descend the thirty-four stairs to get to the first floor. She heard a noise come from the back pantry. “What was that?” she asks herself aloud. The noise was a wet, sloppy noise. She smiled thinking Victoria was playing a trick on her. She was wrong.
Ashley yanked open the pantry door. “Vicki, you know I hate it when you play pranks on me” she says frowning. “What are you doing?” Victoria was on top of Ashley’s brother. “Get off of him!” she yells. Victoria looks at her and bares her teeth. Was that blood on her mouth? Victoria jumps at Ashley. “What the ******** are you doing?” she says jumping backwards. Ashley looked at her brother and realized he was dead, and there was a gaping hole in his stomach. “s**t” she says running into the living room. What was she going to do? She grabbed the baseball bat that her brother left in the living room. Oh my god, what is going on? Ashley moved towards the stairs. Where did Victoria go? Ashley ran up the stairs, and locked herself in the bathroom. The door was weak; Victoria smashed it in about two seconds. “Oh s**t!” Ashley yells, swinging the bat towards Victoria’s head. The blow was strong enough to knock Victoria down. Ashley slipped past her, and ran down stairs. Where were her car keys? Dammit, where are my keys? She left her keys in the bathroom upstairs. “No time.” She says running outside. Where should I go? Ashley runs to the neighbor’s house. The windows where covered in blood. “Oh my god” she screams. “What the ******** is going on?” Her mind was racing. “The…school. I’ll go to the school.” She says to herself. The streets were chaotic. People were screaming, dying. Death surrounded her. On her way to the school, she stopped at the gun shop. Ashley managed to get two pistols (fifty bullets), and a compound bow with fifty arrows. The market was crowded, filled with the “cannibals.” The school looked clear. She hurried into the building and barricaded the doors. Where there any students or survivors here? “Hello?” she yelled throughout the building.
- by ashleyluv34 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 04/20/2010 |
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- Title: Don't Lose Hope: Ashley
- Artist: ashleyluv34
- Description: This is a story I wrote a few days ago. It is only the beginning. It also only had one PoV which would be Ashley's. I plan on writing more if this story gets enough good ratings I will finish the story if not then...Poof all gone. Please comment and rate. I will take constructive critisizim, not anything like... "You suck" that is just mean.
- Date: 04/20/2010
- Tags: dont lose hope
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Morpheus167 - 05/08/2010
- I WANT MORE!!!!!!
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- puhlayed - 04/24/2010
- 3/5
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- ashleyluv34 - 04/20/2010
- Cool and if you could please rate?
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- puhlayed - 04/20/2010
- yesh :]
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- ashleyluv34 - 04/20/2010
- I think I fixed it? It wasn't italicized because I copied and pasted it from Microsoft word.
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- puhlayed - 04/20/2010
- oops xD it didnt do it but idk what the word is for making the word slant or i do i just dont know if im spelling it right xD italisize or something xD sorry xD
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- puhlayed - 04/20/2010
- When she's thinking you should do it like "this" it makes it easier to see what she's thinking. In the last sentence "Where" is suppose to be "were." I didn't like the beginning until "She had to descend the thirty-four stairs to get to the first floor" The beginning sounds like your listing things off. You should combine most of the sentences and some of the things you list are unnecessary details. But other then that i love it.
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