• Once upon a time, back in the Roman days, a young, and ambitious, yet old and unmotivated, boy named Zek-noma-nook-nook (pretty sure that’s Japanese) got a note from the towns so-called prettiest girl, Amy. Beaming, he jolted home. This was the happiest he’s ever been, that is until he opened the note. Scribbled on the crumbled piece of paper (?) was the girls’ number. Or so he thought. Everything was in letters. Try as he might, he couldn’t read a thing!

    He became flustered. When his mother, Agnes, came home, she found the 30-year-old curled up in a corner. “What’s wrong?” she asked. He shrugged. “I got the prettiest girls number today…” She waited. “And…? Isn’t that a good thing?” He shook his head, “Neh. It’s in letters. I think it might be code for something. I just don’t know what!” She held her hand out beckoning for the evidence. Mournfully, he handed it to her. She scanned it, eyes lighting up within seconds. “How would you like to learn the Roman Numerals today, my boy?”

    Over the next few hours, Zek-noma-nook-nook learned things. Things he never knew. Things he will soon forget. Agnes went above and beyond, teaching him more than just the basics. Within those few hours, Zek-noma-nook-nook regretted even showing his mother the paper, but he was grateful she offered to help.

    “All right,” Agnes sighed, “did that help at all?” Zek-noma-nook-nook grinned. His mother smiled. “Now, let’s take a look at that paper.” He eagerly dug it out of his pocket, looked at the folded scrap of paper, which now, because of dinner, had corn splattered all over it, before setting it down on the kitchen table. Agnes reached for it. Zek-noma-nook-nook watched as she unfolded it, but suddenly he said, “Wait!” Agnes jumped. “What?” she said. “I didn’t sit here in the dining room for hours learning Roman Numerals just so you could decipher it for me! If I wanted that, I would’ve just asked you in the first place. Now hand it over!” This was the first time he had ever talked to his mother like this.

    Her mouth hung open in shock, but she forked it over.

    He stared down at the letters, but realized something. He wasn’t paying the least bit of attention to what his mother was saying for the past hour!
    Not wanting to look as stupid as he felt, he looked up at his mother, apologized and handed her the paper saying that she was smarter, she should be the one to do this. She smiled, thanked him, and turned her attention to what caused all this. Zek-noma-nook-nook waited. He waited so long that he fell asleep. After what seemed like two minutes, Agnes’s quivery voice called to him.

    “Uh, Z-Zeke?”

    “Yes?”

    She looked at him with laughter in her eyes. “Boy-o! This isn’t her number. This is a shopping list!” His jaw was already on a plane to Mexico.

    `”WHAT?!”