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The beach on the main land was for everyone,so naturally it was crowded on hot summer days.However,there's a small island a bit off the land that only the kids go on.It's usually only kids ages eight to seventeen,about old enough to help build all the things on the island.The island has been used by our parents and grandparents,when they were much younger,and many of the things there were bulit,or started,in their time.
My sisters and I had decided to go to the island today with our friends.My two sisters and I don't look alike,being completly different in looks and personality.I'm the middle child of three.I'm Arynn Efirts,fifteen at the moment.There's my younger sister Audrey Efirts,who's fourteen,and my older sister Amina,who's sixteen.Audrey is a girl with short blonde hair,blue eyed,skinny girl who is sometimes taken advantage of because she trusts everyone.Amina has long,straight,choppy brown hair and green eyes,she is a motherly figure to Audrey and I.I have long,curly,red hair and silver hinted eyes.I don't truely beleive in love,after seeing my father suffer through my mom's death and die because of a broken heart.I don't cry,I think it's a weakness.Unlike my younger sister,I don't trust many people,I trust them only when the truely prove themself and even then they have little trust from me.Our parents are dead and we don't want to go to a foster home,so we live in a old train's box car.We have jobs though and most adults know about us anyways,but they don't say anything to the police.
We walked up the shore,all three of us,and looked for our two friends.I spotted a girl with long black hair,back faced to us.She obviously didn't sense our presence."Teal!"Audrey yelled at the teen.Teal turned around,showing us her electric blue orbs.Teal nodded,not showing a smile.It's not that Teal is what people call an 'emo',she just doesn't like to talk and she has an accent that she's embarrassed of.
I spotted a blonde girl a bit farther off,yelling at a guy."Kimmy,"I muttered,shaking my head."Kimmy!Kimmy Harp!"Amina yelled at the short,skinny girl."Huh?Oh,Arynn!Amina!Audrey!"she yelp,running to us in her naturally slow speed.I laughed at that,it's true she was probably the slowest runner there was.Her curly blonde hair stayed in place because she was so slow wind didn't pass through.Kimmy had dull blue yes,which were widened when she saw us.The four of us girls stood at the side of the island we were on waiting for our young friend.Amina is the oldest,at sixteen,Teal and I are fifteen,and Audrey and Kimmy are fourteen,so we're all pretty evened out with age.
"So,what are we doing today?"Kimmy asked as she stopped in front of us,barely breathing."We're going to research,"I answered before anyone else could think of a funner idea.Everyone groaned at the thought of how boreing it was."About this town,our families,and the secrets we know are kept,"I cotinued,grabbing a bit of the girl's attention.
- by Red Hazel Kat |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/01/2010 |
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- Title: Breaking Away [Ch.1]
- Artist: Red Hazel Kat
- Description: A group of girls who are different from each other in almost everyway,and fight alot abput that,have the idea that they are going to find out more than what has ever been told to the people around their town.Life,though,almost takes away all oppertunities of this.One must learn to beleive,trust at reasonable amount,fight,love,and above all else:dream.What happens along this journey inspired by Kingdom Hearts(and may actually get KH characters in it later on)?
- Date: 08/01/2010
- Tags: breaking away from everything
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Comments (1 Comments)
- littlewonder2 - 08/05/2010
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I love the actual story, but the way you wrote it is just a bit messy. I'd enjoy it more if it were properly spaced.
But the actual characters were good, and it kept my attention. I'd like to know what the name of the girl whose perspective you used, though. I don't think that was quite clear.
Don't be afraid to say 'eyes' too much, it's only occasionally or appropriately that you should need to say 'orbs'. It's the same rule as with 'said'. Your use of 'orbs' with Teal looked a bit odd. - Report As Spam