• Always Too Careful
    Chapter 4
    Serena's P.O.V.

    My car had finally made it to the place where I longed to be. Even though it was the middle of Fall in my mind i kept going back to the summers that I spent here with my mother, away from the abuse of my father. "Why does Daddy always hit you, Mommy?" I had asked when I was about five or six. "He doesn't really mean it sweetheart. Daddy has just been under alot of pressure lately and hasn't been thinking sraight lately." My mom's answer soothed me somewhat but that was until I was eleven and he started abusing me. I was older and I understood alot more than what I had when I was younger.
    I ran my fingers across the the scars from the cigarette burns and the lighter burns my father had given me in the past seven years. Then I put my right hand on my left wrist feeling the scars from the cuts I had given myself since I was thirteen. I hadn't cut myself in four months but I didn't know how much longer I could last without starting up again. I hated myself for doing it but it was the only way to rid me of my pain, even though I caused myself more pain when I cut myself it was nothing compared to the pain of my father molesting and abusing me. Cutting myself was like an emotional release for me. It was better than doing the drugs I saw other people doing, at least by cutting myself I stayed aware of myself. Unlike the druggies that were out of it twenty-four/seven.
    After I finished reminessing over the symbolicy the beach had for me I went over to the bolders that jutted out from the beach and into the ocean. I found a flat boulder that I could lay on and started looking up at the clouds while listening to the magnificent music that the ocean mad. Closing my eyes I remembered all the times that I came her, with and without my mother, and just laying on a boulder wishing that time would just stand still. I sighed remembering that no matter how hard I wished time would never stop for me.
    I layed on the boulders for a good four hours just thinking about life in general, only drinking what I had bought at the local gas station on my way here, I bought enough to fill my cooler after I put the ice I bought in it. I grabbed a piece of ice and started sucking on it, my throat was so hot and sore that I didn't want to drink anything. I look out to the ocean, amazed, as I always get, about how no matter how hard I tried I could never see the end of it. As I was contemplating this I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I turned to see who it was. Of all the people. I thought. Why does it have to be him that finds me here?