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When I had followed him to his room, I didn't think he'd agree with what I had in mind...
I was so curious to know. So curious to see what would happen if I asked... Even more to know what it was like.
12 years old and already knew what sex was. Not that odd. Since my mother pulled me aside one day to explain that our relationship, Dante and me, would now grow even more, she wanted to tell me about this. And she never really knew how badly I wanted to try it out after she told me.
"D-dante..." I had followed him to his room, even though he said he needed to bathe... I thought it would be the perfect time to ask him.
"Yes? Why are you up here? I thought you would have left... Or waited with my sister..." He looked to me and began thinking of what I could possible want.
I had been so red and playing with my hands. I couldn't even look up to him.
"Y-you know how we are to get married soon..."
"Yes, of course. What's wrong? You don't want to? We don't have to... I mean, I want to, do you?"
"Of course I do! I-I just wanted to know if you and I could have sex..." As soon as those words came out, I grabbed my face and covered my mouth. That was the first time ever that I had said anything that blunt or horrid. I couldn't believe that I had opened my mouth and said that. Terror had struck me as I waited for Dante to speak.
I knew someone had told him of it. I was just so sure of it. But then again, I thought I was out of place... I was so scared that I even began to shake.
"I-I-I..." I pointed to the door, and began to walk that way. Just until Dante had grabbed my hand.
"Why? If you want to, then so do I."
'Really? Wait... How long has he want to? What? He wants to!? Oh my God...' I couldn't think straight. I couldn't really figure out what to do first, next, or if I should just let him take over. And he did.
Since he was already shirtless, he started helping me with my clothes. As we lost our clothes we just kissed and kissed and kissed.
He touched my skin and I did the same with him. Everything was good. Everything felt great.
Just afterwards... We laid in his bed for a while, but we both knew we had to go. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to sleep with his arms around me and him telling me he loved me. But as things were, we didn't need to get caught or in trouble.
This was the biggest sin that we could ever do and we had to hide it. If anyone learned of this, my parents would not allow the marriage and I'd never see Dante again. His parents may do the same. We'd never let that happen... Or at least not let it go without a fight.
But it was only, maybe, a few weeks before we were to be wed... And things weren't going so well for me. I kept getting sick, feeling so terrible... And not to mention, I had a little bump... I was pregnant.
Dante didn't know. My parents started to figure it out... Then they told his parents, and I was gone.
"You have sinned... You disgraced us! You must go live with your aunt. She will already know of your sin and your b*****d child... But she is the only one willing to help you. You have no home here. Not anymore." My father had said it so gravely. Tears were in his eyes, my mother's, and my twin brothers.
I couldn't say goodbye to Dante. I couldn't see anyone. Just the land... I couldn't stand it. I had cried and cried and cried. Nothing could make me feel any better. Nothing except being able to see him.
My life had changed. It wasn't long before I heard about Dante running away. But I knew he'd try to find me, and I knew I couldn't help. My aunt was senile. She couldn't even remember where she was. She barely remembered I was her niece and she had a great niece...
Our daughter grew up without a father. She grew up knowing that many men had came to marry me. And she knew that I'd refuse and fight if they didn't take no.
I died alone.
I died not knowing if Dante even really cared about us. I died not knowing if he loved me or remembered about us...
- Title: Diary 3
- Artist: BatzLove
- Description: >.> i went with this decision... toned it down from what i was planning...
- Date: 12/05/2010
- Tags: diary
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Comments (5 Comments)
- BatzLove - 12/06/2010
- did so
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- XdethxangelX555 - 12/06/2010
- i did not
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- BatzLove - 12/06/2010
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@iam3323 sad im sorry...
@XdethxangelX555 don't be sorry!!!! u did ur best!!! - Report As Spam
- XdethxangelX555 - 12/06/2010
- i always remembered. and i tried but after years i lost my purpose and............................................................. im so sorry
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- iam3323 - 12/05/2010
- aww. ;(
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