• Chapter 1

    Some Things You Should Know

    Hi, I'm Sadie and I'm f**king insane.

    At least that's what they tell me. If it's true, it makes sense why I'm locked in solitary confinement at the moment. I lay flat on the floor with my arms spread out, staring at the water-stained ceiling. "Better than a padded room, I guess." I think as I watch specks of dust float and shimmer in the light. I let the sunlight hit my face, the window is only a tiny rectangle with bars over it, but I appreciate that I'm not in total darkness.

    Juvie is more fun than school, believe it or not. Lunch-time fights are much more entertaining and everyone wears black. Yesterday a kid threw his food across the room and started jumping from table to table for no reason at all, it put the guards in a frenzy.

    I'm in solitary because I got in a fight while we were supposed to be bagging leaves. If you mouth off to a guard, they make you do service hours and I got stuck raking leaves with this girl named Katelyn. She called me a psycho because I've been institutionalized once, so I hit her and so began the fight. The guards really don't care about fighting, it happens all the time. But I tried to cover her unconscious body with leaves and walk away, which perturbed the guards quite a lot.

    I stand up to look out my tiny window. Some kids are outside in the rec area, and a guy I've never noticed here before catches my eye. "He must be new." I think as I try to get a good look at him. It's hard to make out his features, he has on a black sweatshirt like everyone else and also has black hair. I can see that he's pretty cute, and I contemplate on how I can talk to him without scaring him away.


    Chapter 2

    Try to Break Me

    I consider myself a tough kid, but I have to admit I was suffering. I don't know how much time had gone by and I hadn't eaten. I felt as if I would be stuck there forever. Solitary was making me slightly slip into madness

    I tried to take in a deep breath and think about nothing. Just empty my mind and meditate. But the more I tried to gather myself the more I got lost...

    I slowly slipped into unconsciousness and fell to the floor like a rag doll.

    When I woke up I was sitting slumped over in a wheel chair in the infirmary. My neck ached when I lifted my head and at first my vision was hazy. The first thought I could gather was "F**k you all and this place full of fascist pigs". I did not realize that I accidently expressed that cognition verbally until I saw it caught the attention of the nurse and juvenile officers.
    I learned that they incompetently left me in solitary for too long, without food or water, because the guard who was appointed to supervise my lock up left his station and no one knows why.
    I had fainted due to dehydration and now am sitting here with an IV in me.
    I felt like I had the devil in me, I was so enraged about the abuse I was just put through and there was nothing I could no about it. If I try to sue I'd be their word against mine, and I'm considered mentally unstable in the eyes of the law.

    Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I tried to gather strength. I caught the nurse looking at me with a pitiful expression. She looked guilty, but it wasn't her fault I was like this. I tried I smile at her and she quickly looked away.

    I wondered what would happen next. I assumed they would just send me to my room as soon as I had just enough strength to stand up.


    Chapter 3

    He Saved Me From the Flood

    I was slowly starting to feel a little better. The nurse let me lay down on the cot, which wasn't very comfortable either but better than being handcuffed to a wheelchair with needles stuck in my arms.
    "Because you were held for violent behavior," The nurse had explained to me, "we had to restrain you to make sure you wouldn't be a danger to yourself or others." I didn't even ask for this explanation but she must have felt it necessary as I stared blankly at the cuts the cuffs had dug into my wrists.

    Another juvenile officer walked into the infirmary and looked at me in the same pitiful way that the nurse had. He and all the officers must know why I was in solitary and what had happened, it was pretty rare for this sort of thing to happen in a lower security juvenile facility. I gave him the death stare and he didn't look at me again.

    I finally noticed that the boy I saw sitting in the rec area was standing behind the officer. His knuckles were really bloody, and I wondered why he wasn't cuffed if he had thrown a punch. "Punched a mirror." He directed towards me, seeing I was staring at his knuckles. I just smirked at him, I really didn't have much strength to speak. He gave me a friendly smile that I wasn't used to seeing in Juvie, it made some of my bitterness go away.

    The officer who brought him into the infirmary left as the nurse examined his cuts. "Now why on Earth would you punch a mirror?" The nurse questioned him. He just shrugged then shot me a glance. I tried to look away quickly like I hadn't been watching. I wondered why I was so intrigued with him. The nurse shook her head, "You're going to need a couple stitches, bandages won't be enough." The nurse handed him gauze to stop the bleeding in the meantime. "Go sit over there and wait a second," she gestured to a chair close to me, "I'll be back and fix you up."
    The boy walked casually to the chair even though it looked like he was bleeding pretty bad. Then, even though I was recovering from passing out I was wondering if I looked horrible. "That nurse is pretty nice." He said to me, catching me off guard and pulling me from my thoughts.
    "Oh, yea she is." I said shyly.
    "It's nice to have someone in this hole who at least has a little humanity," He said, I nodded in agreement as I rubbed the marks on my wrists. "I see she had enough decency to take handcuffs off a fine lady like yourself." I blushed because he's the only one who had treated me like a normal person in a long time.


    Chapter 4

    A Piece of Me

    "Thanks." I said and smiled at him gratefully, "I have to know you're name now." I was surprised at the words that slipped out of my mouth, I wouldn't have said that had I not been dazed from my previous collapse.
    He grinned widely. "Alex." he said.
    "I'm Sadie." I replied.
    "Oh, I already know you who are." Alex said, catching me off guard once again. "Everyone is talking about what you did to that girl and how you were left in solitary for 13 hours straight."
    "Oh no." I groaned and hid my face in my palms. I did not need any attention here.
    "I wouldn't worry at all," he said, "no one is ever going to mess with you again." He winked at me and I was flattered.
    "Hey," I started, not yet sure how to say what I was thinking, "thanks for just.. being here, I guess. I won't lie I was kind of scared."
    "No problem," Alex replied, "you made me glad that I tried to break my own reflection." He reached for my hand and I was hyperaware of his skin touching mine. He made me feel reassured and pulled his hand away as the nurse walked in.
    "Come over here, hun." the nurse gestured to the other room where she would stitch him up. Alex stood up and looked at me.
    "Feel better, okay, Sadie?" he put a smile on my face as he walked out of the room.

    I relaxed against the cot, I really need rest. I noticed some of Alex's blood on my hand. It's strange but I liked having a piece of him with me still as I drifted into sleep again.