• I dont know if people know but when your heart breaks the pain isnt a metaphore. you really feel it, you feel it in the pit of your stomach and right inside of your heart. each beat becomes a thump, each breath becomes a gale force wind. you can literaly FEEL it some times its pure pain and agony, sometimes it just like a cold hanging sence of doom, or sometimes you just cant explain it all you know is that you heart it broken. and after its broken any sign of affection from anybody feels like a heaven sent gift. i just had to say that... sorry this entry is rather short compaired to the others, it just makes me feel a little better now that i have figured out how to explain how it feels, it feels like theres a cold river running through my heart and down into my stomach. like somebody forced icey chunks of antarctic water down my throat and put slush into my veins. i feel cold, useless, alone, unwanted... a whole lot of things. and no matter how many of my family is telling me that they love me and that im beautiful it just doesnt feel the same. its nothing like having a complete stranger coming into your life, looking into your eyes and saying that they love you, that you the most beautiful person in the world right after you washed your makeup off, and unstaghtened your hair, put on your sweet pants and your sweet shirt. arg here i go again just flappn' my gums... well i just wanted to get that off my chest its been swirling around in the empty expance that is my brain, bye.