Death

• Artist: Aria James
• Description: Here is I poem I wrote for class tell if you like it. Also rate fairly.
• Date: 07/31/2008
• Tags:

I walked into the dead town,
I heard the ear piercing scream,
the smeel of blood strong,
I walked around the corner,
And saw her lying on the ground.

The beast that hovered over her,
He was as white as chalk,
He stared at me with those red eyes,
He was fierce as a lion,
Ready to pounce.

He slowly glided toward me,
I backed away,
Ready to scream,
He was a demon,
A demon in human form.
My heart was racing,
I should have run,
while staring into his blood red eyes,
I knew one thing,
I was going to Die.

Comments

[Aria James]

Sorrowful-Saffron, the word u suggest wouldn't have worked. I was talking about meeting a vampire. Also, I was new at writing, this was during my depression time.

[xChibiWingx]

chilling. nice poem! 5/5

[Sorrowful-Saffron]

The ending could use adjustments.
"I should have" ran
far from this vicious beast
Swipe!
He took a swing at me as I ducked below.
It barely missed my perched neck.
And when I thought it couldn't become worse;
I fell flat, and turned quickly.
"while staring into his blood red eyes,"
My mind pondered on many different things.
"I knew" only "one thing,
I was going to Die."
~
You could also talk about meeting death face-to-face. [If wanted.]

I give you a 3/5.

[RaNToReD]

Hey, thats great! ^^