• Softly Tearing,
    Sounds Blaring,
    I feel the pain,
    But I'm numb, it's all the same

    I feel my heart break
    I feel like I'm drowning, my tears are as a lake
    The loud passersby don't know, don't care
    They ignore me, they try not to stare

    It's not fair! All my life,
    Rejections and nothings have always tried to cut me, like a knife
    And people beware me, ruthless and uncaring be
    All because I'm a freak, that's all they see

    I am crazy and wild, a veritable sun-child
    Born for living life for the moment, rarely acting mild
    Always smiling, always grinning,
    Acting like each moment is just beginning

    Enduring hurts and trading punches
    Rarely ever eating lunches
    Rarely sleeping, often speaking
    Of nothings and somethings and squealing and squeaking

    Obsessed? You could say so,
    With Anime and whoever might be my foe
    Obessed with wanting to feel,
    For happiness seems to have such strong appeal.

    I don't care who might want me,
    Happiness for who; me? Nah, couldn't be.
    Roleplaying is my life, it helps me get away from reality
    I don't care about school or grades, I have no fantasy

    No fantasies about life after now,
    I can't see me being twenty, How
    Can I be growing old? I see nothing for me
    Nothing and nothing and more nothing be.

    Just because I am a bit hyperactive, and wild, and impulsive
    Can I really be all that repulsive?
    I see no beauty in me, yet those around me do
    I was about to be, with this life, through!

    I raised a knife, and idly, played
    On the computer, as I stayed
    My knife; it was silver and bright
    And it reflected a hidden light.

    I found a friend and talked to them,
    Spilled all my secrets, and she is a gem;
    For she accepted me and told me,
    That nothing short of amazing could I be.

    She eased my hurt and banished my insecurities,
    And other friends like her do I now have, bonds and no impurities;
    Mitzy, Ari, Spookie, and Kero;
    All are each a personal hero.

    I have even achieved yet another boyfriend,
    And I wish not to tell him that it's the end;
    He's far too sweet, but he seems to obsess,
    And I feel for him naught, but I digress;

    Now I feel as if I can be perfect, sometimes
    When I roleplay, and when I don't; No longer do I simply give in to mimes
    And yet still do I feel naught, still do I long for feeling.
    It's like a sleeping limb, but in my chest; I only ever feel for dealing

    Dealing in darker things I know naught of in my parents' eyes,
    Things I know should be a shocking surprise
    For anyone that finds out, other than I.
    I think I should feel if I got just a lullaby,

    The feeling of being loved, like in a yaoi fanfic of some anime,
    To be warm and sung to, and then they would say,
    "I love you,"
    And I would feel that I love them, too.

    Maybe Someday,
    That's what I say
    To myself each and every night
    To ease the empty hollowness, and dull misery, never contrite

    At the thought of never feeling.