• I am smiling, and laughing, and giggling.But, it is all fake.This smile it is not mine.This person, I do not know her.I am here, yet I am not.Everyone thinks I am this sweet always happy for you girl.I am not.I am not happy for them. Not one bit.

    I step off of the bus.I cross the street.It is bright outside.Halfway home I see them.I see the flashbacks of what I hate.I see what I want.I see what I can't have. Why? Why them? Why that bond? Why not me? My heart hurts.My knees are weak.I fall to the ground.I hit it hard.I am falling inside the black.I am falling millions of feet down.I do not panic.I do not worry.I just cry.No whimper no sound.But drops of thick silky velvet like blood streams down my face.I am still falling with no stop.I want to die.I want to take that knife with a rose at the end and stab my heart. Why me? Why must I live this life?

    The black seems as if it will never end.But just as I hit rock bottom, my eyes slowly open.I blink a few times and finally notice where I am.Halfway home.I am still laying in the ground.Next to me a pool of the bloodshed tears.I wipe my face.Yes.I was indeed crying blood.I stand and brush the mini rocks and dirt from my skirt.I completely wipe away any trace of red off of me.I finish off to home.

    Why didn't anyone notice me? There were many cars passing by.I see them pass everyday. Why could , why would no one help me? After this day.This very moments.They change me.They transform me.I am no longer the sweet, gentle, caring girl I used to be. I do not care about you.I hate you infact.I hate you without a doubt.I stopped talking alot.Only spoke when a teacher called on me. I never said a word to my "friends".I never smiled.I never laughed.All happiness and kindess drained from my heart.It left and blood and hatred filled it up.Who, if anyone, will drain the blood and hatred? What will they fill it up with?

    I am a still doll that bleeds tears. I am sitting in your room right now watching your every move.You cannot see me, but I am there right this second.I am wearing a red and black dress with a corset.I have fiery red hair in pigtails.My red eyes are now completely black.My pale face is bleached with the color red.I am holding a blossomed rose with many sharps thorns at the end that keep entering my skin only releasing more blood.Don't you know I hate you? Are you afraid of me? Don't you know that I could shove these thorns into your body? That would hurt.You know, pain makes the world go round.