Lost

• Artist: Silent_Journeys
• Description: Just a poem I wrote about a person who feels lost in the world. It was based on a girl I know but I honestly think it ended up portraying my true feelings. Please Read and Comment! It will only take 5 minutes.
• Date: 02/12/2010
• Tags: lost pain savior

The hour is still and undisturbed as I glance into the darkness of eternity
The only movement is that of my heart and the trees around me
Stripped of their leaves and true identity
Mirroring the emotions that overwhelm my tranquility
I feel lost, betrayed, misunderstood
My limbs search for something to touch
My soul yearns for someone to love
I look up at the heavens, waiting desperately for a sign
I need a savior, a guardian, a friend
Someone to hold me close and keep me warm in times of sudden chill
I look down the long narrow path of my life
Haunted by the images flashing by me
Disturbed by the voices that taunt my memory
I want to run away and escape from it all
However, the gray stones are wet and cold beneath my feet
Forcing me to remember the harsh times I have endured
Forcing me to memorize the cruel faces I have encountered
I sigh and hope salvation will be restored
For I no longer want to feel a sense of rejection
For I can no longer tolerate this pain
For no longer will I be
Lost

Comments

[nbetweener]

Not all of it makes sense. While the cold, wet stones can remind of of those harsh times, how can they make you memorize faces already gone? And, like so many others, you start with rhyme in mind, and then give up. Make up your mind; rhyme, or don't. Don't change mid-work. The line about the voices...again, it doesn't make sense. taunting voices could come from memory, but how would they taunt memory? Aren't they supposed to be taunting you? Past failures, lost loves and the like? Good imagery.