• I lay
    Body flat on the floor
    Sponge in hand
    And I scrub.
    I scrub at the black blobs
    No longer recognizable
    Sticking to the ground,
    Sticking to my soul.
    All my hatred and disgust
    For an unhealthy lust.
    I scrub harder,
    Trying to clean this
    Filling the space that was his
    Bit it is a hit and miss.
    So many times I felt his fist
    When he would grab me
    And slap me
    If we were never happy
    Then what is it that I miss?
    I scrub,
    At the dark offensive smudge
    That continues to judge
    Was I just weak?
    Or did I actually think
    That it was love?
    I SCRUB AND I SCRUB,
    But it never goes away
    Never to see the light of day
    But haunting me from the inside
    Something I can no longer hide
    For too long I have let it reside
    Pretending, defending,
    But never contending
    To that dirt holding tight.
    I have already lost the fight
    Before it even began
    I thought he was my man,
    I thought he loved me.
    I don’t understand
    And I don’t want to believe
    That it wasn’t love,
    SO I SCRUB!