201 ΡδρζαΓ

[xDarkWinterx]

"Being hurt was nothing new to him. He was used to the pain and usually passed through it. Micha knew that hurting Samuel wasn’t the option either. He was afraid of where everything was going for them. Micha was bringing too much of his life into Samuel’s and he knew he didn’t need nor deserve it. He wondered if perhaps things were going as expected, after all he knew Samuel never expected to be dragged into his bullshit. Micha didn’t want to bother Samuel. His thoughts were changing at the moment. Everything was changing for him. He worried about Samuel’s family as well, what they would think. Micha wouldn’t be surprised if his family decided to kick him to the curb afterwards. He didn’t want to be the cause of Samuel’s down fall.

Micha felt Samuel rubbing his back as he told him what happened. He didn’t need words really; he knew there was nothing that could be done. Micha felt Samuel kiss the top of his head. He nodded lightly but didn’t speak. Micha didn’t need apologizes, nothing was going to fix everything. He had a plan going in his mind but knew it wasn’t something that Samuel would like to hear. Micha didn’t plan on telling him, at least not right now. He shifted as he moved closer and leaned up. Micha kissed Samuel against the lips, sliding his hand over his chest as he held onto him. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

In situations such as this pain was inevitable. Didn't mean that one of them couldn't at least try and stop it from happening. Samuel had been hurt by plenty of his past boyfriends and lovers. But Micha was different. He didn't see him as a burden, didn't mind being let into his life, and he most certainly didn't think about how bad this was going to hurt if inevitable one of them decided to call it quits. If Micha was bringing too much into his life then Samuel was just as guilty. Not once did Micha ask to be reminded of his impending marriage. Not once did Micha ask to be reminded how incredibly homophobic his family was and to be pushed away because of it. He didn't ask for any of it, yet he took it was such grace and dignity, that it was he who felt he didn't deserve the other. But still he clung to the male. After months of stumbling and weeks of anguish, he couldn't fight him anymore. Samuel was without a doubt, head-over-heels-driving-himself-crazy-in-love with the male. He didn't care what his family said and he wasn't worried about losing his inheritance. Samuel was a business man after all; even before meeting Micha he feared for worst, and thus already planned for such a future. If he was disowned by his family it would be because of him, not Micha.

He laid there comfortably, trying his best to ease the male's worries worries. He watched the male after pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Whatever he was thinking, he couldn't tell. Both his mood and expression were unreadable. He could only imagine what sort of hell was roaming through his head. He could only hope that one day he could help demolish the wall causing such hell. Samuel was lured from his thoughts as Micha shifted on top of him. He blinked up at the male, kissing him back, and covering Micha's roaming hand with his hand. Samuel pulled back, feeling slightly confused. Where had that come all of a sudden? He wanted to ask him if anything was wrong, but something about it all stopped him. Leaning up, Samuel cupped Micha's cheek and kissed him again.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"If anything Micha was feeling restless at the moment. He was tired of talking at the moment, what he wanted simply was to feel loved. Micha knew Samuel loved him, but he just couldn’t help it. He knew his behavior probably surprised Samuel but he couldn’t help what he was feeling. Micha just simply wanted to feel numb. He knew he had surprised Samuel by his kiss but he couldn’t help it. He felt Samuel pull back after a kiss. Micha watched Samuel waiting to see if he would return his feelings. He leaned into Samuel’s hand as he cupped his cheek. Micha kissed him back as he was kissed again. He let his hand still on Samuel’s chest, though his kiss turned more forceful and hungry. Micha let his mind go blank; all his thoughts right now were focused on Samuel. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

He too was feeling rather restless. All morning it was like he'd been walking on eggshells and had been trying to get Micha to open up to him. But in the long run it seemed it was inevitable for him to just run into another brick wall as the male wasn't in much of a sharing mood. Laying back against the sheets, he let the male do as he pleased. He was a bit surprised by the forceful kiss, but didn't try to stop him. Instead, Samuel kissed back with equal passion. He then pulled the male close and rolled them over so that he hovered above the male. He pulled back from his lips, studying him again. He didn't completely understand what had gotten in to Micha, but he wasn't about to call him out on it either. Leaning close he pressed feather light kisses to the male's neck and up to his ear. "Tell me what you want me to do." he whispered seductively into the males' ear. Nipping the males earlobe, he pulled back once more, and gently took a seat on the males lap. He looked down at the male while awaiting his instructions. He supposed that whatever else was plaguing the males mind could wait. If this was what he really wanted then he would comply to his wishes.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"Micha didn’t need him avoiding him or trying to make up words to say. He simply just needed him to be here for him, nothing more at the moment. Micha wasn’t looking for words of comfort but merely to just be comforted. He felt Samuel kiss him back with equal force. Micha shifted as Samuel rolled with him. He moved slipping his arms around Samuel’s neck. Micha glanced up at Samuel as he pulled back and hovered above him. He slipped his arms down toward Samuel’s chest as the male moved toward his neck. Micha turned his head slightly feeling Samuel’s lips dancing over his neck. He enjoyed the feeling soon feeling Samuel move toward his ear. Micha listened as Samuel spoke into his ear. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

Sitting back on the males waist, Samuel waited for Micha's reply. Instead of words he was only given simple gestures. Looking down at the male, he felt his urge to give in to his lover's desire instantly fade. It was the first time he felt this way. What a strange feeling. But he couldn't deny that at the moment his head and his heart just weren't in it. He wasn't even hard for that matter. "Let's stop here." he said quietly. Reaching up to the males hands, he gently pushed them away. He didn't want to keep using sex as a way to resolve or forget their issues. What was happening was real and terrifying. Having a quickie in the guest room wasn't going to fix that. Pushing his hair back from his eyes he averted his gaze for a moment. Samuel wasn't prepared to know what sort face Micha was making or how he might react. But his motormouth never did learn to shut up when it was likely most important. "I just....I love you, and I understand that this is a shitty situation. But,.....but I don't want to have sex. I'm sorry." Samuel spoke quietly and calmly as he removed himself from the males' lap and sitting down beside him. He stared at the bedspread beneath them, his eyes following the ornate pattern.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"Micha knew that everything could not be fixed with sex but it would make him feel better, it was that or alcohol. He was a bit surprised however seemed to deny him the luxury of forgetting even just for a moment. Micha watched Samuel waiting to see if he would give into his desire but it seemed he wouldn’t as he heard him speak. He was disappointed by the thought. Micha felt Samuel push his hands away. He watched him as he seemed to advert his gaze from him. Micha remained motionless as his hands were pushed aside. He kept his eyes on Samuel though he merely looked through him instead of at him. Micha wasn’t angry nor was he happy. He listened though however as Samuel seemed to babble on. Micha watched as Samuel moved off of him and stared down at the bed. He shifted moving closer toward Samuel, ”Well..If you’re not going to have sex with me then can you at least just hold me?” Micha didn’t care about the sex really. He simply just wanted Samuel’s arms around him. Micha didn’t want to offend Samuel but if he didn’t at least accept his other option then he was better off just leaving the room. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

After pushing him away he felt a twinge of regret. He knew that Micha only wanted to escape his current reality. But he also knew that giving in wouldn't change anything. He'd still be in danger, today would still be miserable, and things would probably be just awkward as they were now. Sitting beside him, Samuel kept his eyes locked to the bedspread only to look up when the bed shifted beside him. He was still quite unsure of his mood, but at least he didn't seem angry. Samuel listened as he spoke and nodded in response. Crawling up to the head of the bed he sat with his back against the small mountain of pillows and motioned for Micha to come sit in the space between his legs. He was still and patient while Micha made himself comfortable. When he stopped moving, Samuel wrapped his arms around him and held him close to him. "Better?" he asked.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"Micha was in no mood to argue. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing. Micha would take care of his father; after all he wanted as money. There was nothing holding the two together as father and son, no sentiment. He would give his father the money and would never see him again. Micha knew his father wasn’t interested in anything more. He wanted to get on with his life, and never hear from his again, if that were possible. Micha hated the idea of his father coming between them, just as he knew Samuel probably hated the idea of his own family coming between them too. He didn’t want to think about anything at the moment. Micha merely just wanted Samuel to hold onto him and let him be. He watched Samuel waiting if he would give it. The request was small and wasn’t something he normally would have asked for. Micha watched as Samuel nodded and moved toward the head of the bed. He shifted sitting up as he watched Samuel get adjusted before moving toward him. Micha slipped into Samuel’s lap as he leaned against him. He just wanted the peace the last twenty-four hours had taken from him. Micha wanted things to go back the way they were but knew it wouldn’t be that way. He heard Samuel speak and nodded too. ”Yeah...Thank you.” Micha spoke as he relaxed against Samuel. He waited for the wash of comfort to come over him as he closed his eyes. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

Samuel was patient while Micha made himself comfortable. When he was settled, he wrapped his arms around him. He nodded his head as he felt Micha settle back against him. Quietly, he held on to the male. He had nothing else to say for the moment, he wasn't sure there was anything he really should say. Glancing down at the male, he saw his eyes were closed and he seemed to be quite relaxed for the moment. Samuel allowed himself to relax as well. Leaning back against the headboard and pillows, he let his mind go blank. Right now there was no need for worry, no stress, just calm. They were safe here. Everything was going to be alright. Closing his eyes, Samuel tipped his head back and fell into a light doze.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"As he relaxed in Samuel’s arms, Micha felt him start to relax as well. He let Samuel’s breathing comforting him as he sat there. Micha could feel himself drifting as well. It didn’t surprise him that he was tired after all the past two days had been stressful. He listened as he started to hear Samuel doze off behind him. Micha didn’t mind, he knew Samuel was probably just as tired as well. He sat there for a while before he started to feel his phone buzz in his pocket. Micha shifted as he moved to grab his phone from his pocket. He looked it over but didn’t recognize the number. Micha knew a few of his clients had his number but he wasn’t expecting a call from them. He shifted out of Samuel’s arms not wanting to wake him. Micha moved toward the edge of the bed as he answered the phone call.

The voice on the other end was to be expected but not so soon. His voice was unmistakable. Micha’s father was never one for patience that he knew of. ”Hope you haven’t forgotten about this morning…” His father spoke over the phone in German. Micha hated the idea of his father knowing his phone number; it was another thing he was going to have to replace. ”I haven’t forgotten.” He spoke in response in German as well. Micha shifted on the bed not wanting to disturb Samuel. He moved heading out of the room with phone in hand. ”Good…I was thinking perhaps we should meet soon..I’m on a deadline and I don’t have time to wait.” Kliment, Micha’s father spoke into the phone. He could hear a clicking noise on the other end from a cigarette lighter.

As he exited the room, Micha made his way toward the living room. He ran a hand through his hair. ”How long?” Micha questioned his father. It was the right question Kliment was hoping to hear. ”Eight hours…I’ll expect to see you soon at your studio then with my money.” He spoke before hanging up the phone. Micha hung up his phone wanting nothing more than to throw it against the wall. He tossed his phone on the couch then walked toward the bathroom. Micha shut the door behind him and turned the water on in the shower. He had eight hours to get the money and back to his studio. It wasn’t much time but it was enough."

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

With his eyes closed, he kept his attention focused on sound of their combined breathing, the gentle rise and fall of Micha's body against him. Samuel had just started to drift off when he felt Micha shift in front of him. He loosened his arms so the male could move as he pleased. Turning his head, Samuel attempted to fall back asleep. He felt the bed shift around him and the warmth of his lover escape him. Cracking an eye open, Samuel looked over at the male in time to see him bring his phone to his ear. The room was quiet enough that Samuel could hear the voice of whoever was on the other line. From what he could tell it was a man's voice and he was speaking German. Samuel laid there pretending to sleep. There wasn't much point in him listening in. While he could understand German to a point, he still wasn't fluent in the language. Still....he couldn't stop himself from listening to Micha's side of the conversation. It had been a busy past two days and here it sounded like he was planning something else. He wanted to know what exactly, but soon the bed shifted again. Closing his eyes and evening out his breath, Samuel laid still. The males voice grew faint as he moved in to, what he assumed was, the living room.

Spreading out on the bed, Samuel no longer tried to sleep. His curious nature had gotten the better of him. What could be so important that he needed to take his conversation to another room? And why must insist on speaking German? Straining his ears, he listened as best he could without getting out of bed for fear of making any noise. Micha's mood already seemed rather tense, he didn't want to make him angry by him knowing he was listening in. A few more words were exchanged before all went quiet again. Samuel craned his neck. He couldn't see anything out the door. And it didn't sound like Micha had left either. A moment later, there was a soft thump and the sound of a nearby door being shut. Sitting up, Samuel waited to see if the male would come back. He soon heard the not so distant sound of the shower being turned on yet still he waited. After a good five minutes had passed, Samuel rose from the bed and went to gently knock on the bathroom door. "Micha?" he called. "Are you okay?....Do you want me to leave?" Samuel leaned against the wall, hoping to hear some kind of answer. He still wasn't clear what the whole phone conversation had been about, but he could take a few good guess as to who it was. In this hour, there was only one person that came to mind. Samuel knocked again, in case the male had not heard him. He'd understand if the male wanted his privacy. But at the moment, he wasn't so sure if it was a good idea to leave him alone right now.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"If he had any qualms about disturbing Samuel, it was beyond him. It didn’t surprise if Samuel had heard him. Micha had tried to be as quiet as possible, but knew that speaking in German was out of turn. He couldn’t help his behavior at the moment. Micha had too many things on his mind. He had stripped down all his clothes while he waited for the shower to warm up. Micha slipped into the shower feeling the warm water sliding over him. He closed his eyes as he ran his hands through his hair. Micha wasn’t in the shower too long before he heard a knock at the door. He glanced toward the door hearing Samuel speak on the other end. Micha could only guess he was worried about him. He wasn’t bothered by the idea, though knew it wasn’t doing Samuel any good. Micha let the water continue to run as he slipped out of the shower. He walked toward the door hearing Samuel knock again. Micha opened the door to see Samuel leaning against the wall. ”I’m fine…Don’t worry about me…” He spoke smiling to reassure him. ”You can come in if you want.” Micha spoke stepping away from the door and moving back toward the shower. He slipped back inside letting the water run over his body again. Micha closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of the warm water running over him. "

 

[Pure Acid Dreamer]

Sɑɱυεƪ ᴊᴏᵴҥʋᴀ Ɖɑᴠіʂ
“Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose."

Maybe it was just his imagination or maybe just an old habit. But he noticed here lately, every time things got messed up or didn't go as planned, the first thing Micha did was hop right into the shower. He wondered why that was. Leaning back against the wall, he waited patiently to see if the male was going to let him in. Or at the very least, give him an answer to his questions. If it was alone time he wanted, Samuel could oblige. He reached out to knock for a third time, he could still hear the water running in the bathroom. Then suddenly, the door swung open and there stood Micha. Dripping head to toe with his hair pushed back and wearing nothing but the water pearling down his skin. Samuel lowered his raised hand and respectfully locked on to the males gaze. He quietly nodded as he was told not to worry. Though it would take a miracle for that not to happen. These days Samuel always seemed to be worrying about something. If it wasn't Micha, it was his parents or his brothers, or his club. There was just always something or someone that needed to take hold of his attention. Before he could allow himself to become too absorbed with his thoughts, he just barely heard the males invitation. Samuel watched him make his way back into the shower before following him into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He pulled two towels from the linen closet as well as two wash cloths. Setting them down beside the sink, Samuel stripped and tossed his clothes into the hamper. Picking up the wash cloths Samuel slipped into the shower as well. Pulling back the curtain, he stepped up behind the male, dangling the cloth in front of his face. "I think you forgot something." he teased.

 

[xDarkWinterx]

"
Being worried was merely natural. He found that taking a shower allowed him some relaxation. It was an odd habit, but he enjoyed the feeling of water. He couldn’t help himself. Micha merely just wanted a few seconds of peace. He didn’t mind Samuel joining him if he wanted to after all the shower was more than big enough for the two of them. Micha dismissed the sound of the door closing as he stood beneath the water. He could hear movement outside the shower. Micha glanced to see Samuel joining him. He took notice of the wash cloth as well. Micha knew he had forgotten something. ”It appears I did.” He spoke smiling as he took the wash cloth from him. Micha grabbed the bottle of soap as he poured some onto the cloth. He set the bottle back down as he glanced toward Samuel. ”Turn around.” Micha spoke as he held onto the wash cloth. "