|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
 Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:21 am
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
After collecting the food and making a space at the table, Samuel wondered if Micha would join him. He didn't know what just happened. He thought this was what Micha wanted. It appeared that he was wrong though. Removing his lid, he was presented with the bowl of pasta that he had ordered. He picked up the silverware next to the tray and unraveled the cloth napkin. Samuel ate his food with no complaints and kept his eyes down. If Micha didn't want to talk before, he doubted he wanted to now. After a few bites though he couldn't stay quiet any longer. He set down his fork and looked up at the male. "Is there something else you wanna talk about?" he asked softly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:34 pm
As he ate, he could feel Samuel’s eyes on him. It was no surprise after all he had stopped during the middle of sex and got up. Micha knew Samuel would have questions, but none he could answer. He watched as Samuel started in on his food. Micha continued eating as he grabbed his milkshake taking a sip from it. He soon heard Samuel speak up asking him something. Micha shook his head a little, ”Nope.” He spoke as he went about eating again. Micha had nothing to discuss nor did he want to. He shifted a little in his seat, ”There’s nothing more to talk about Samuel.” Micha spoke pushing his plate away as he picked up his milkshake. He continued to sip it as he sat there. Micha had plenty of thoughts but nothing he could form into words.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:03 pm
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
It was impossible not to think that there might be something on Micha's mind. The man had been acting weird since he got there. He didn't know what to make of this behavior. He watched him curiously as he was soon brushed off. His heart shank a bit. What did that mean? They didn't have anything more to talk about. "Liar." he thought. There was something there, he knew it. Something he wasn't telling him. He wish he knew. Picking up his fork again, Samuel continued to eat in silence. He thought of fighting back, but what was the point? Micha looked as defeated as he felt. Perhaps he was wrong in trying to make things work.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:15 pm
While he sat there, he took note of Samuel’s silence. Micha didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t much more he could say. He could only wonder about the what ifs. Micha sighed a little watching as Samuel went back to eating. He shifted in his seat, ”Answer something for me Samuel...If i hadn’t found out, would you have even told me?” Micha asked curiously as he picked up a fry to eat it. It had been the number one question on his mind. Had Samuel even planned on telling him about his one time fling, or would he just never tell him. He hoped it would be yes but somehow he thought not, after all Samuel seemed barely one to talk about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:37 pm
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
Sitting there with his head down, he didn't attempt to make anymore conversation. After all what was the point. Micha didn't wanna talk so they wouldn't talk. Good.....No. Not good. He poked at his food, sipping his tea, but not really tasting any of it. Perhaps he should just lied. He could just said that it was an inside joke he had with the models or something. But no...he just had to be the boy scout. The do gooder. He didn't expect Micha to take this sitting down. But he also thought he might appreciate him telling the truth instead of lying to his face. Taking another bite, he heard the male speak. "Yes! Of course I would!" he replied heatedly. "Why would you even ask me that?" Samuel was hurt the male would think he'd lie to him about something like this. Of course in the first few hours after the fact he thought of taking it to his grave. But he never lied to him. He didn't intend to start now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:58 pm
Food no longer really was satisfying. He could even sense that Samuel was no longer hungry. The idea of food had seemed tempting now when he first arrived, but he had lost his appetite. He watched as Samuel played with his food. As he questioned him, he watched Samuel was offended by his words. Micha saw no reason for it, after all it wasn’t surprising. He finished off his milkshake as he set the cup aside. Micha crossed his arms as he leaned on the table. ”Why?...Because when was it going to come up Samuel… When you got home, it’s not like I would ask ‘Hey honey, ******** anyone will on your trip?!” He spoke angrily, as his anger spiked again in the last few seconds. Micha knew Samuel wanted things to work out, but how could they?
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:17 am
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
He had to admit in the hour and a half since Micha had arrived, his emotions were all over the place. And while earlier had had been hungry thanks to neglecting his meals. But now, it tasted like sand. Taking one last bite, Samuel put his fork back down and wiped his mouth. Picking up his glass, he drained the last of his tea. He listened to Micha lash out at him. What might have been a twinge of annoyance was slowly spiking. He was out of line. <******** you, Micha." he spat angrily. He had no right to assume that Samuel would have tried to keep this from him. Samuel had been open and honest with him their entire relationship. He had no reason to think that this would change. Would it be hard to admit? Yes. But hiding it would just make matters worse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:35 am
Anger was something he could work with. He knew Samuel had been sorry, but he wanted some emotion. Micha knew egging Samuel on wasn’t the thing, but it was working. He watched as Samuel seemed annoyed by his words. It was true there was no telling if Samuel would have told him or not. The only thing he could have done was wait. He shifted standing as he moved to stretch. ”See...feel better now.” Micha spoke teasing Samuel. He moved toward the bed sitting down on it. ”Assuming would do no good...I’m would be lying if I said I wasn’t mad Samuel...I didn’t want to find out..In all honesty it would have been better if I hadn’t found out...Lie to me sure...I don’t care.” Micha spoke as he pulled his legs onto the bed, crossing them. He was growing tired as he sat there, but the idea of sleep didn’t sound appealing right now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:58 am
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
His anger was slowly bubbling as Micha probably intended him to be. What was the saying? Misery loved its company. Or something along those lines. Samuel was done eating. He put the lid over his tray. He glared at the male as he teased him. This was not the time for jokes. He was being sincere and if Micha couldn't understand that then it was his problem. "Not at all. You're being a real d**k." he replied honestly. Standing up from the table he took his dishes and walked over to the door to set them in the hallway. Micha could get his own damn plate. Coming back in the room, he leaned against the wall. He stood there listening to him gripe, b***h, and moan and frankly he was over it. This back and forth bullshit was tiresome. They were getting nowhere and with their current attitudes maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Samuel pealed away from the wall to take the last cigarette from the pack. He slipped it between his lips and lit the tip, inhaling deeply in an effort to calm down. Going back to the wall, he stared at the male. "Is this your way of breaking up with me?......Be honest do you even want to try to pack things up?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:09 am
Hurting Samuel wasn’t making him feel better. He loved him, but didn’t know if continuing was the best for them. Micha didn’t even know if Samuel wanted to continue. He knew they were complete opposites. In what world did they think this would work out. Micha wanted things to work between them, but in a way he didn’t. He listened as Samuel spoke. Micha knew he didn’t like his joke, but it wasn’t a good one. It was his way of deflecting the situation as he always did. He watched as Samuel stood taking his tray into the hallway and returning. Micha watched as Samuel leaned against the wall before coming toward the bed and getting his cigarette. He heard Samuel question him and shrugged slightly. ’I don’t know...I want to, but I don’t know if I can Samuel.” Micha spoke softly admitting the truth. ”I love you, but I don’t think I can continue this right now.” He wasn’t saying he wanted to completely end things with Samuel, but perhaps he just needed a break to think things over, that’s if Samuel wanted to continue, if not then it was best to end it here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:37 am
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
So this is how it ends. As much as his loved and trusted Micha, that small part in his mind that always doubted the good things in life made him wonder when it would just all come to a screeching halt. His assumptions had always been that they would naturally drift apart. After all they didn't hold much in common. Their backgrounds were totally different. Hell even their careers didn't always mesh well. If it hadn't been for an idiot co-worker they might not have met in the first place. But of course as time had moved on, Samuel had gone on to hope for better things. Moving in together, marriage even. He was a fool. Leaning against the wall, he watched the male intently as he questioned him. His halfass shrug pissed him off. As did his words. But a part of him knew that he wasn't wrong. How could they continue on like this? "You're really not making much sense. I hope you know that." he replied, taking another hit. Sighing softly though, he could feel a bit of his anger start to die. "If you really don't know what you want to do,then why did you come here? And don't tell me it's because you love me. I already know that..........What was the point in flying eight hours and coming here, if it wasn't to break up with me?!" Samuel looked up from his cigarette to make eye contact with the male. He couldn't do this anymore. He wanted a straight answer. He wanted him to do it quick. Either dump him and make him more miserable then he already was. Or forgive and move on. He couldn't have it both ways.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:55 am
The more he talked, the more he was just babbling. He knew he wasn’t make any sense. It was either the jet lag, or the being pure tired. Micha couldn’t make sense of anything. He listened as Samuel spoke, but it wasn’t something he was comprehending. Already he could feel his heart closing off, as the anger subsided. Micha knew that they could never go back to the way things were. In the last two months, he knew something had changed. Samuel cheating on him was merely the final straw. Micha wasn’t mad at Samuel, he just wished things were ending differently. He shifted standing up, as he went to grab his shoes. Micha didn’t care that he was dressed for bed, he wasn’t staying. He looked toward Samuel. ”I came because I missed you, I wanted to work things out with you Samuel...I didn’t want to end this, but I can’t stay…” Micha spoke grabbing his suitcase. He didn’t bother with dirty clothes. Micha grabbed out a clean shirt pulling it on. He finished getting dressed, as he stopped at the door. ”I said I would only stay if you needed me, but it’s clear you don’t.” Micha spoke pulling the door open as he grabbed his suitcase. ”Goodbye Samuel.” He spoke not sparing a second glance as he started down the hallway toward the elevator. His plans were to head back toward the airport and see if he could get an earlier flight out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:11 am
【ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ,
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
sᴏ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.】
Where had they gone wrong? Samuel too had felt the change. For the longest he just told himself that it was the honeymoon phase wearing off, that they were settling down into a long term relationship. He had hoped and dreamed of more, thinking it would pass naturally. He always heard of couples getting in a rut at one point or another. But this just didn't seem like it was it. It scared him to his core. He did not want to break-up with Micha. But it felt like he wasn't being given a single choice in the matter. With horror, he watched the male collect his things. The words made no sense and everything felt as though it were happening in slow motion. His heart was shattering and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He pushed his hair back as his eyes welled. He couldn't believe it. Of course he had seen it coming a mile away and still he was in shock. He blinked the tears away as Micha walked out the door. He let out a wail of anguish, feeling completely and utterly helpless. Sliding down the wall, he fell to the floor and sat there sobbing like a child. This was it. It really was over.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:15 am
Holding onto the basket was getting a little heavy, but he didn’t let it show. Liam knew they should have grabbed an actual cart but they were almost finished. He walked with Alaine toward the baking section. Liam glanced around, but watched as Alaine chose for him. He didn’t mind as Alaine grabbed some basic flour and put it into the basket. Liam glanced toward him shaking his head, ”No, it’s fine...Anything else you want or need?” He asked figuring they could head to checkout if Alaine didn’t need anything else.
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 4:33 pm
As he left Samuel seemed to make it easy. He had not stopped him, had not even said a word to him. Micha wasn’t surprised nor did he care. If Samuel had wanted him to stay, then he wouldn’t have let him leave. He left heading to the airport. Micha got on the first plane out, heading back home. It would be the last place to find him, after all he normally would never return. He just needed a break, from life, from work, and from everything.
Within the first six months of arriving in Germany, he had found a place to stay. He had made plans to have everything stripped from his home and put into storage. It was not somewhere he wanted to return, at least not right now. Micha had put his house on the market and was awaiting a response. He wanted to wipe himself from existence or at least in a way Samuel wouldn’t find him if he wanted to. Micha was currently going by his middle name, and his mother’s maiden name, Alik Haupt.
As eight months passed, he had sold his house. In the time that he had been in Germany, he hadn’t really done much. He spent most of his day wondering the city. Micha hadn’t taken a photo but that didn’t mean he didn’t retain everything to memory so he could draw or paint upon it later. He hadn’t been able to forget his last night with Samuel, nor had he tried contacting him.
Almost a year now and he had done everything he needed in Germany. He had visited a few friends and mostly importantly his mother’s grave. She had been buried not cremated, after all he had been the one to pay for it. That was something he kept secret, after all it wasn’t as if his father was going to pay for it.
A week from breaking up with Samuel, Micha arrived back in New York. He had lost a few pounds and his hair had grown back to it’s longer length. Micha hadn’t worried about cutting it, as it no longer bothered him. He was feeling a little jet lagged as he arrived, but he had something he needed to do. Micha needed to see him, though he wasn’t sure if he would talk to him. He couldn’t help the urge and need. Micha had dropped his bags off at a hotel and took a taxi to Samuel’s club. He could only guess he would be there, after all where else would he be.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
