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As of lately, I've been feeling really out of it, like I don't belong, and like everything I do is just no enough. I've been crying for no reason at all a lot , I walk around more self consious then I have ever done in my life. I live a normal life, and I'm doing things like a normal teenager should be doing. But it's still not enough, I feel as if I'm falling, and I want to canish off the face of the earth, I feel as if I have no one here for me anymore, as if everyone's gone and left me behind. I know I may seem childish and this may seem silly, but I can't help it, I've been feeling as if there's something wrong? But maybe the one who's got something wrong with them, is truly me? On my first day with the one I truly love, I just want to take in everything, and not go to far, as to just talking and cuddeling every now and again. But I have a feeling that somethings bound to go wrong. I don't know exactly why I'm becomeing more scared and paranoid everyday , but slowly I've been noticeing it, yet no one else does. Maybe it's just me, and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, I know he's just for me, and I know he loves me. but maybe I'm feeling this way only because were so far apart and it makes me want to see him even more?....I'm so self consious, and I really can't explain this emptyness thats lurking inside of me, no one can see it because I hide it, because I'm so quiet, but once I break I've got to talk to someone, but who really? who will be here once all hell in me breaks loose? I feel so alone, and useless, and empty, I wanna run away, but I know I wouldn't be able to muster up the courage to do so. So whats wrong with me?
[Na no da] · Fri Apr 22, 2005 @ 06:59am · 3 Comments |
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