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Senior Retreat; And then there were two. |
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'Twas fun! But that icebreaker nonsense thing....okay, I knew 5 seconds after we finished the "big" move of 10 steps that the next one would be 4. Like, there was no doubt in my mind that 4 was the next number. Strange, eh? Maybe I'm just good at guessing. But I get the feeling there's more to it than just a good guess. I mean, it could've been any number, really. 4 just happened to be the perfect number of steps. Ah, maybe I'm just driving myself in circle over some stupid coincidence. Too many coincidences, really stare Way too many. I don't like coincidences that add up. It's unnerving.
The cookie was so good ^_^ And I like my feather. purple. Very apropro, for me ^_^ The word puzzle was tricky, and I'm DETERMIND to solve it! And during the individual reflection time, I didn't really feel like answering the questions, so I wrote 2 poems that make no sense ^_^
Beautiful images
Flicker in and out.
Waking dreams....
Reality and fantasy
Mix into one,
A blend of life.
I know what I want.
I know what's right...
I don't like my ending line for that one, so I didn't type it. It really sucked 'cause they wanted us back in chairs, so I just jotted something down really fast. My ribs were killing me after that. I was laying on the bleachers xd
okee, 2nd (well, actually, 1st) poem!
I spend my days dreaming and thinking,
Reflecting on the past and planning the future.
And always, I feel I am sinking
Into old patterns and traps of my mind.
I spend my days convincing myself the nights
Were never real, just figments of my mind,
Yet I spend my nights hoping I'm right
In my decisions and actions. My words
Are true, but I promised to ignore my heart
Long, long ago, when I first went astray.
It hurt so much to be so apart,
But perhaps I was better off that way.
Head over heart?
End before the start?
Cause more pain?
Or try again?
I don't deserve the opportunity to choose
Because with my heart, I always lose.
I was feeling very blue sad And rather random. I pretty much fit a lot of my thoughts into that little bit. I'm so spaced out in class sometimes, lost in my thoughts. I get tangled up so easily, too. I go from remembering the past to imagining the future to questioning the present with little space in between thoughts. Which is why I sometimes get confused with time and when/if things actually happened sweatdrop It's not as bad as it used to be. Last year, I was so lost with time that I could barely keep hold of the present; things that happened just moments before were lost in my confusion. At least now I can pin it all down. And I usually can tell the difference between reality and dreams. But sometimes...there are dreams that feel so real, it's hard to tell if it was a dream at all.....I keep thinking I'll wake up, and it'll be August again, everything as it had been for so long. But I am awake, so there's no waking up. Doesn't mean I'm not afraid that's not true.
I was cleaning my bathroom, and I found a poem I wrote at the end of last year. I had forgotten about the poem, but not the gist of it. My fondest wish, but now it's come true...I like the last two lines best. The rest was just a way to get to the last two lines ^_^ It's almost....hey, it's got the rhyme scheme of the octave of a Petrarchan sonnet! lol! Ah, sorry sweatdrop I've finally learned to notice these things (thank you CW!!!).
Sometimes I cry because I long to hear you say,
Just once more, calling me by name, "SaraPi."
...it's truly scary how deep I can bury feelings. But equally scary is how easily they resurface.
~nepie
Ah! I almost forgot again! For the billionth time! crying Okay, so there's a lot of Sara(h)s in the grade, and there have been, at certain times, what I call "Sara(h) triumvirates" (sp?). They've happened all the time this year ^_^ Mostly involving me and the other Sara. Physics is one. The Civics exams was another, by far the awesomest whee Today, at retreat, it happened with small groups ^_^ And once in the hallway, quite briefly, when we were going to CW and talking about whatever project we were working on. Bam! Triumvirite! Damn, how do you spell that??? xd Spelling and Geography are my serious weak points.
GO VAMPS! WE SHALL PREVAIL!!!
 nepie · Tue Oct 30, 2007 @ 11:10pm · 0 Comments |
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