God.
I don't know what's happening..
Nathan's not texting back, and I'm worried as hell.. He hasn't been resting well and he wasn't in much of a good mood moments back.. I wouldn't want to make him feel like I'm abandoning him by not texting back.. Stupid Sun ><
Ugh. I just got back from dinner too.
So here's the deal; my family and I were planning on going somewhere outta town somewhere around Christmas. I told my dad I wanted to go; but not on the 24th or the 25th.. I wanted to spend that day with the person I love.. For once in my life, I want to have someone on Christmas day.. someone I can love..
But then there was a little change of plans. Wait, not a little, actually. A LOT. My sister said she didn't only want to go outta town, but she wanted to go abroad ON the 24th until God knows when.
BULLSHIT.
She ruins everything for me, doesn't she??? gonk
Haay.
So yeah. I opposed. I told her that I wanted to spend my Christmas here where my home is. I wasn't lying because I wanted to be with Nathan.. I mean, It was true, too.. I think Christmas should be spent here.. Even though I don't really like this place or anything.. It's also about honoring where you are, you're not supposed to treat it like a piece of s**t..
So, she answered back, she said she hated this place and she wanted to get out for the occasion.
I felt like throwing my food at her, standing up and screaming on her face.
scream scream scream
But no, I am not a barbarian, so I do not resort to violence.
Instead, I 'calmly' screamed at her and told her to get the hell out of here herself if she wanted to. She said; 'I wish.' and I said, 'I wish that too.' and yeah. After a few more minutes, she asked my dad if she could go to Singapore [we decided it to be Singapore a few minutes before] with my brother, since they're both as insensitive about this country as each other. My brother agreed. My dad agreed.
Well that's just great isn't it???
Me wanting to be in the place in which I live in causes the whole family to split apart. WTF?! I seriously felt like screaming my lungs out. If only I could. But I wouldn't. I know I'd just end up fighting with my sister and that would hurt my dad.
HAAAY.
So in short, I'm stuck in between everything as usual.
I WANT TO STAY HERE.
I want them to stay here too.
And no matter how sucky and annoying my sister could get, she's still part of the family.. I wish she understood that the way I do. That we should be intact. We were not much of that at all.. and I wish we were.
Because, when it all comes down to it, I don't have much of a choice but to love them, even if they don't love me back... emo
 Moonlight_Dancero9 · Mon Dec 08, 2008 @ 02:29pm · 0 Comments |
