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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
BAM!
So I got through my group presentation and have one other to go to in ..oh... ten minutes maybe. Like I figured, my English group told me right before presentating that I was to do a different activity than they told me last time. They think I am so incapable when I was leading the discussion that they broke in. They started explaining things when I was in mid point. Yes, they helped but it only shows they lack faith in me. I am untrusted everywhere I try to go. It is only in the hearts of old that I can even hope to be held with love.

Hmm, I am having a hard time with allergies? It's either that or I have a cold, which is unlikely. I have my normal allergy things where I have the runny nose, sore throat, gagging coughs, and weak body as well as pale complexion. I know it sounds like a cold but it would be much worse if it was a cold. I would have insane runny nose and I would be soooo tired. I am not tired but my body feels heavy. I don't want to sleep and when I try I cannot go to rest.

I'm gonna make myself tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwhiches after this s**t. Maybe then I can get farther on "12 Kingdoms," I stopped at episode 17/45. I am in love with the series. I am thinking about roleplaying again but it would be much more literate and the flirting and plot would be stronger than the sex. I dunno, I need another reason to come onto Gaia without feeling so lonely or helpless.

So I think I have our new roommate decided. It should be interesting. I keep getting distracted with thoughts of Xmas though ^^" I don't want to get anyone any gifts... I usually spend so much on people that I want to skip this year. I hate Christmas. I'm not going to be able to spend time with my Grandma and help her. I'm not even prolly gonna spend Christmas with them. OMFG I hate this. I hate this. I want to cry but I can't. I don't want to go but I don't want to miss it either. I love her so much. I love the tradition. I really love it. I HATE CHRISTMAS! I HATE IT! I'm not even gonna be able to see my friends. Their parents hate me! I won't get sisters. I'll just have my cats, dad, brother and my mom.

That doesn't sound so bad.