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This is my expression and the truth from my heart. If it too much for you, then forgive or forget me and this entry....
Alone I am; I walked down the road. I could see the dark. People didn’t noticed me as I walked through. It didn’t bother me too much. Alone I am; I walked down the road. I could see 2 people holding hands and smile to each other. I closed my eyes and hidden smile. Alone I am; I walked down the road. I could see someone who lonely. I ask that person and it told me everything. Its very hurtful so I tried my best to cheer that person. All I want is happiness from someone's heart. The one and only just for me. I keep searching it. I end up nothing, no matter how hard I keep searching. No one didn’t help me nor didnt i ask them. I tried all my best to do it myself. All I have is pain. I couldn’t do anything. All I can do is cry till my last tear drop. I can hold the pain as much i need till i couldn't handle it. I wasn’t happy to do it and I know it will happen. I was blind, foolish, and stupid to see it and now I lost everything. Im such a bad person at all.
I regret of what I’ve done in the past. Because of it, I cant change something from the past. It will stay there forever. My heart break leads to my greatest depression and my regret. I was very deeply depression to do anything. I cried too much when my heart feels nothing but saddness. I waited my old happiness for 6 months to return but none happen. I don’t want anyone to worry about me too much. To prevent it, I give my fake smile. I also hide myself. I gave some people how i feel but most of it, i hide them and i dont want to give too much. I’ve been doing it until I step another path. Deeply bottom of my heart, I will miss that guy every single day. I wanted him to come back but I was always afraid that he may not be happy with me on his side and i may ruin his feelings and everything. So I let him go even though it hurt me too painful. I guess its the best to do since he may moved on. Although we speak for a while, I feel like this is the last moment before i go..
If he want me to be happy, then I will. He will never understand me how much I waited him to come back. I was always willing to do anything ….anything…to see his smile again. I was always waiting for a second chance. A second chance will change into a better way than it was in the past if he feel the same way I do. But its too late. I'll never get the chance to have the second chance cause its gone. I was ready for that chance. I wish to see my old happiness again but now my wish has faded away. I know i must moved on but could i be able to smile? Alone I am; I walked down the road. I could see between the dark and the shining light.
No matter how hurtful, pain, lonely, joy, etc.i am, I placed my 2 cold hands in my chest and try not to let my tears fall from my heart.....
Im hoping by the time pass, everything will be okay. No more saddness...No more depression. I will be hidden hoping not to look back at the past....I just miss those loving, beautiful, happy memories. The one i love and the most is just the past. I hope i could burry them and not see each other this way today. Why did i say it? Im afraid of him. I was always always afraid of him. I cant do anything because its his choice. I cant stop him because he already started. I cant hold him because he hates it and i can see it through. I guess I need to support his future. No matter how many days..months...or years gone by, It just like yesterday. By then, I'll just stick in my world hopefully someday, I will find my lost happiness.
 I-MissKabbii01-I · Fri Aug 26, 2011 @ 04:57pm · 0 Comments |
