Thought I'd note down an entry before I go to bed...
So yeah, wow the past few days: emotional rollarcoaster - underestimate.
scream
It kick started Wednesday - I found out Chris had been smoking thus lying to me. I haven't felt so hurt in a long time so of course I exgratted and the such.. even though he still extremly rarely smokes.. or I hope. I went to bed in tears, I was in a state of shock I thought he wouldnt lie - I love deluding myself. ._.
Smoking was a promise he made to me, I made another let's just say.. the end result wasn't pretty..
So yeah.. I spent Wednesday in alot of shock. I felt like a clockwork toy - school was one of the few things that kept me motivated otherwise I would have 'happily' sat staring at a wall for several hours just to calm down. I knew I had to speak with him so as soon as I walked into my house I rang my Dad and got permission to go out. After a few attempts got through to Chris and dictated that I were going to his after I met him off the college bus. He agreed so yeah. We walked to his.. had an 'argument' in the street and talked for hours about it.
We still really love eachother and I was being controlling and over-protective yet those who know me know that smoking is something I feel strongly about - like abortion. We talked comprimised - I feel almost split up and there were alot of tears.. I still feel like the crappiest girlfriend ever.. T__T
But I went home smiling and feeling so much better.
Friday was a much better day until after school. In the time up until then I brought Donnie Darko, V for Vendetta and ordered Chris's new lamp. I ******** up in Costa and totally blanked Chris's friends. I was reminded of the smoking and I totally clammed up.. I'm sorry Chris I ******** love you and yeah... I screwed up.
We made up and I stayed round his mom's this weekend - after having my flu jab. Dx
He's brought me Princess Bride. :squee: heart
We had a great weekend, tears yeah but laughing and messing about like usual.
To sum up: I really love this kid! XD
Btw... if anyones confused with the whole Mark thing..
Ask someone else! =p
 HoverCrab · Mon Oct 16, 2006 @ 12:02am · 1 Comments |
