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the only reason I hate exams |
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I have this crazy song stuck in my head, and all during the english exam, I really wanted to sing it. It wasn't so bad during science because that exam was a beast. I basically wanted to ask my teacher why only half her exam could be answered with what we learned. Honestly. English is a lot more brainless, so I can think of music. My brain's like a mini IPod. I can just pick a song and play it in my head. I kept switching between "Good Enough", "My Immortal", and "...Baby One More Time." But "Good Enough" was the problem. As soon as I could after exams, I listened to it. I didn't like having to stick around. And then a car alarm went off. And I was still there. And when I finally did leave, I had to go to St. C's. Then Barnes and Noble to get Beth's present. and a book for me, too. Only two more volumes of KKJ left crying
So, after finishing my first exam, I was doodling. Then I erased my ugly drawings and started writing. However, I didn't really like how I had started the song, so I was planning on erasing that too. It wasn't the words, just what I was writing about. But I kept it and finished it after science. To get the idea of what it's about, you'd have to think of a guy who's just totally amazing, but you can't stand him sometimes. It's kinda KKJ, with Maron and Chiaki.
Some times, I wish no one would ever touch me again. It hurts so much inside. I never know how many days, weeks...even months it will be before someone hugs me or pats me on the shoulder or something. I wanted to cry, to just hide under the covers and stay there until Christmas, so I wouldn't have to see the gifts being exchanged or the hugs being given. I'm sick of pretending it's okay that someone's giving everyone else presents because I'm not really part of the group. It's always the really sweet ones, and they always apologize. I have to say it's okay because I can't hurt their feelings. Just once, I wish I was part of the group, not the outsider. Gosh darn, I'm getting too emotional again. Stupid tears.
"Shouldn't let..."
~nepie
 nepie · Thu Dec 14, 2006 @ 11:30pm · 0 Comments |
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