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Needs and Wants
Otaku~Relief: What kind of drink?
Nico_s: *runs hand through his hair to help him get sleepy hoping it might work*
Nico_s: warm milk?
Moonbeam Baby: ew
Nico_s: lol
Nico_s: okay nm
Moonbeam Baby: milk is icky
Nico_s: hot cocoa?
Otaku~Relief: Ohh, yay for hand! *purrs*
Miscarriage: I like milk with ovaltine... mmm.
Otaku~Relief: Don't have any
Moonbeam Baby: whats ovaltine
JJandthebansheES: *sets leftover cake on the coffee table*
Nico_s: *never had ovaltine*
Miscarriage: It's like chocolate milk.
Otaku~Relief: You see, I'm 18 and I live with my grandparents'
Moonbeam Baby: oh ew
Moonbeam Baby: im 19
JJandthebansheES: *feeling old* x_x
Moonbeam Baby: (ew to chco milk)
Miscarriage: Chocolate milk is good. D:<
Otaku~Relief: My grandma's on a diet and is forcing me on one too.... I'm 5"4' and I weigh 130lbs... do I need to lose weight?!
Nico_s: heavens what do you like to drink that's warm?
Moonbeam Baby: tea
JJandthebansheES: nope
Moonbeam Baby: coffee
Moonbeam Baby: i need coffee...
Otaku~Relief: We don't have that
Nico_s: I think a person is perfect the way they are honestly.
Otaku~Relief: I'm food deprived!
JJandthebansheES: that's a scary thought otaku o_O
Otaku~Relief: Feed me!
Otaku~Relief: lol
Nico_s: mmmm coffee
Otaku~Relief: It's true though
JJandthebansheES: being as thin as Ally McBeal o_O
Miscarriage: Coffee = Yuck
Otaku~Relief: I'm not even allowed to eat mac and cheese
Moonbeam Baby: yes mmm coffee *stares at nico*
Moonbeam Baby: gimme coffee?
Miscarriage: I'm to short to drink coffee... D':
Otaku~Relief: TT__TT
Miscarriage: I <3 Mac and cheese.
Otaku~Relief: I need a hug
Miscarriage: I'm sorry.
Nico_s: *blinks* I don't have any coffee to give -_-
JJandthebansheES: *hugs Otaku*
Otaku~Relief: Sankyuu! U.U
Moonbeam Baby: *pouts then snuggles nico again* mk. your still being snuggled tho
JJandthebansheES: i hope you won't break o_o
Otaku~Relief: Break?
Nico_s: *holds him close*
JJandthebansheES: well, with you being that thin and tiny, yeah ^^;
Nico_s: aww
Miscarriage: Whooo. I have the sexiest head here... O: IMO
Nico_s: lol
Moonbeam Baby: hehe
Otaku~Relief: lol, I'm a red head, I'm supposed to be thin and tiny... at least according to my friends
Otaku~Relief: XP
Moonbeam Baby: im small, but not tiny
Nico_s: same here
Miscarriage: I'm short for my family... D:
Otaku~Relief: Ohh, I feel so alone
Otaku~Relief: TT-TT
Otaku~Relief: Only tiny one
Miscarriage: Both my parents and my brother are over 6' 5". I am 5' 8"
JJandthebansheES: *feeds Otaku some cake*
Otaku~Relief: O.o
Otaku~Relief: YAY!
Nico_s: aww don't feel alone. Your special ^_^
Otaku~Relief: CAKE! I haven't had any in years
JJandthebansheES: special recipe
Otaku~Relief: *munches happily*
Moonbeam Baby: nu uh
Moonbeam Baby: you lie!
Otaku~Relief: No
Otaku~Relief: Remember the forced diet?
Moonbeam Baby: how do you LIVE without sugar?
Moonbeam Baby: oh...right
Otaku~Relief: I survive...just barely
Moonbeam Baby: oops
Nico_s: I wouldn't ... couldn't go without some cake
Otaku~Relief: I have such an awful sweet tooth
Moonbeam Baby: *points to self* sugar addict
Otaku~Relief: my friends smuggle me sweets...when they can
Otaku~Relief: I'm a choco-holic
Moonbeam Baby: yay for us
Nico_s: mmm chocolate
Otaku~Relief: yep!
JJandthebansheES: eh? *rainbow aura glows around him in Otaku's perspective with White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane playing in the background*
Otaku~Relief: O.o Eh?
JJandthebansheES: it's a 60s song XD
Nico_s: *trying to picture that *
Moonbeam Baby: *stares then hides head* too....bright
Otaku~Relief: I agree
JJandthebansheES: did moonbeam ate some of the cake?
Nico_s: I'm never going to finish this puzzle.
Moonbeam Baby: i get cake? *lifts head*
Moonbeam Baby: what kind of cake?
Otaku~Relief: Yes you will, it just takes time and patience
JJandthebansheES: it makes you see things, kid ^^;
Otaku~Relief: *pets hair comfortingly*
Moonbeam Baby: fun cake
JJandthebansheES: yup
Nico_s: no I won't I've only placed one piece on the empty space.. *sweatdrop*
Moonbeam Baby: wait..kid?
Moonbeam Baby: im not a kid!
JJandthebansheES: well, peace cake actually ^^;
JJandthebansheES: alright fine you're not
Moonbeam Baby: *yawns*
Moonbeam Baby: im 19
JJandthebansheES: X3
Otaku~Relief: I'm 18
Nico_s: ^_^ *likes the petting. Lightly kisses his head*
JJandthebansheES: Otaku must look girly irl. i love androgyny X3
Otaku~Relief: Aww, yay! Heehee *flushes slightly* ><;;
Otaku~Relief: I do
Otaku~Relief: O.o
JJandthebansheES: i wonder if you have a pic hmmmm
Otaku~Relief: Well, I do
Otaku~Relief: But
Otaku~Relief: It's black and white
Nico_s: ^_^ Your so cute when you make that face.
JJandthebansheES: that's fine
Otaku~Relief: YAY! XP
Otaku~Relief: Okies, let me go get the link
Moonbeam Baby: ack. more blinking lights outside my window...not kool
Otaku~Relief: Okies
JJandthebansheES: *everything goes psychedelic in his background*
Otaku~Relief: I have it
Otaku~Relief: Keep in mind
Otaku~Relief: This pic is kinda dark
Otaku~Relief: and I wasn't feeling so happy at the time
Otaku~Relief: O.o;;
Otaku~Relief: Okies?
JJandthebansheES: ok
Otaku~Relief: http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b330/MrsTaraYuyMaxwell/1524722197_l-1.jpg
Otaku~Relief: You can't really see my face, either. >.<;;
Otaku~Relief: But I adore the way the picture came out
Otaku~Relief: ....what do you think?
Otaku~Relief: O.O
JJandthebansheES: *looking at the pic* aww no need for that face honey
Otaku~Relief: *worries* Is it bad looking?
JJandthebansheES: *lifts up Otaku's chin* you look beautiful ^_^
Otaku~Relief: Really? ^^ Yay!
JJandthebansheES: just keep your chin up next time ^_^
Otaku~Relief: I was depressed
Otaku~Relief: ^^;;
Moonbeam Baby: ack
Moonbeam Baby: be happy demmit!
279Ness: yey i finished it
JJandthebansheES: aw it's ok
Moonbeam Baby: everyone is so depressed lately
JJandthebansheES: *pets Otaku*
Nico_s: I"m not depressed
Otaku~Relief: I can't help it!
Moonbeam Baby: yay *snuggles closer* im not either
Otaku~Relief: A lot of really awful things have been happening recently
Nico_s: ^_^
Otaku~Relief: YAY! I got petted! *purrs*
Nico_s: hey brb everyone
Otaku~Relief: okies
JJandthebansheES: it's ok if you can't Otaku.
Moonbeam Baby: mk
Otaku~Relief: Sankyuu
Otaku~Relief: You see
Otaku~Relief: I don't usually tell people
Otaku~Relief: but all of you are really nice and understanding
Otaku~Relief: so, I think I will
JJandthebansheES: hmm?
JJandthebansheES: what is it?
Otaku~Relief: My mom is a drug addict....a rather abusive one...and recently things have taken a turn for the worst
Otaku~Relief: So...I've been rather really depressed recently
Otaku~Relief: I live with my Grandparents
Otaku~Relief: they have custody of me
Otaku~Relief: but
Otaku~Relief: my mom (who is in the middle of her 5th divorce) moved in a couple of weeks ago
Otaku~Relief: Being gothic, she thinks something is wrong with me
Otaku~Relief: She's a EXTREME christian
JJandthebansheES: that's anything but gothic honey
Otaku~Relief: and she keeps trying to exorcise me... I mean painfully
Moonbeam Baby: poor otaku *hugz*
Otaku~Relief: No, I wasn't wearing my stuff in that picture
Otaku~Relief: here, let me show you another pic
JJandthebansheES: i don't mean that Otaku. i meant your depression
Otaku~Relief: oh
Otaku~Relief: I see
Otaku~Relief: It's just
Otaku~Relief: It HURTS when she tries to exorcise me. She throws holy water in my face and slams me up against the wall
JJandthebansheES: i know it's not my place, but your mother's failed to recognize how she affected you when she screwed her life up
Otaku~Relief: then she begins to repeatedly crack my head into it
Otaku~Relief: while screaming/chanting "Demons begone from my child and make him holy!"
Otaku~Relief: *sighs* I don't know what to do
Moonbeam Baby: and you havent left yet?! oh poor otaku *hugs*
Otaku~Relief: I deal with her
Otaku~Relief: That's part of why my head is pulsing today
Otaku~Relief: She did it again right before I got in this room
Otaku~Relief: >.<;
JJandthebansheES: she wasn't on anything while trying to "exorcise" you was she?
Otaku~Relief: Who knows? When is she not on something?
Otaku~Relief: Oxycottons
Otaku~Relief: Pot
Otaku~Relief: Cocain
Otaku~Relief: Crystal Meth
Otaku~Relief: Vicoden
JJandthebansheES: i see
Otaku~Relief: etc
JJandthebansheES: do you or do you not love her?
JJandthebansheES: do you love her enough to stop her?
Otaku~Relief: I can't love her. I don't know her. According to my doctor, I have supressed memory loss. I only have 9 memories from the age 14 and back
Otaku~Relief: O.o;;
Otaku~Relief: I have really bad memory problems on a daily basis
Otaku~Relief: He also
JJandthebansheES: oh sorry v.v
Nico_s: okay back *hands Otaku a plate of food. Sits close by him* okay I missed much haven't I? oO
Otaku~Relief: diagnosed me with OCD, ADHD, and Depression
Otaku~Relief: Yep
Moonbeam Baby: *snuggles back into nico*
Moonbeam Baby: missed a bunch
Otaku~Relief: You can scroll up and read it though
Nico_s: *puts arm around moonbeam*
Otaku~Relief: Right?
Otaku~Relief: I just don't know what I should do
Moonbeam Baby: i would leave if i were you
Moonbeam Baby: but tahts just me
Otaku~Relief: The first memory I have is of her beating me with a chair. I was four
Otaku~Relief: I think
Otaku~Relief: O.o
JJandthebansheES: i don't know about you Otaku, but if i were to put myself in your place, then that woman would no longer be considered my mother
Otaku~Relief: I don't see her as a mother
Nico_s: okay it's hard to look up and scroll when the page is moving but from what I quickly caught this is about your mother being horrible to you?
Otaku~Relief: She was never there for me
Otaku~Relief: Um
Nico_s: why is she doing this to you?
Otaku~Relief: I'll show you
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: My mom is a drug addict....a rather abusive one...and recently things have taken a turn for the worst
JJandthebansheES: then she is no longer your mother. i know it's cold and fell to say, but what good is she if she can't raise as her own from the start?
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: So...I've been rather really depressed recentlyOtaku~Relief: I live with my GrandparentsOtaku~Relief: they have custody of meOtaku~Relief: but
Otaku~Relief: True
Otaku~Relief: But, she's staying with us
Nico_s: oh that is awful.
Otaku~Relief: not the other way around
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: my mom (who is in the middle of her 5th divorce) moved in a couple of weeks agoOtaku~Relief: Being gothic, she thinks something is wrong with meOtaku~
Moonbeam Baby: *nods* poor otaku. got any other place you can go?
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: She's a EXTREME christian
Otaku~Relief: Nope
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: and she keeps trying to exorcise me... I mean painfully
Nico_s: the only one who's is wrong is her for casting you out like that
Otaku~Relief: aku~Relief: It HURTS when she tries to exorcise me. She throws holy water in my face and slams me up against the wall
Otaku~Relief: Otaku~Relief: then she begins to repeatedly crack my head into it Otaku~Relief: while screaming/chanting "Demons begone from my child and make him holy!
Otaku~Relief: That's the basic gist of it
Otaku~Relief: I dunno
JJandthebansheES: and your grandparents what about them?
Otaku~Relief: Maybe I've done something to deserve this treatment?
JJandthebansheES: were they worth it?
Otaku~Relief: What about them?
Moonbeam Baby: you havent done anything to deserve that
Nico_s: I'm so sorry you have to go through that.
Moonbeam Baby: no one deserves that
Otaku~Relief: How do you know? Maybe I hurt her and didn't realise it..
Moonbeam Baby: you said she had hurt you since you were what? four?
Otaku~Relief: She's always hurt
Moonbeam Baby: so you didnt DO anything
Moonbeam Baby: its not your fault
JJandthebansheES: that's no excuse to take it out on you
Otaku~Relief: That's just the first of the nine memories I have from 14 and back
Otaku~Relief: The next one
Otaku~Relief: It was storming out and I was 5
Otaku~Relief: We were in a car
Nico_s: *shakes head* Even if you did hurt her it's no reason for her to abuse you like that.
Otaku~Relief: and she was smoking something
Otaku~Relief: She stopped the car and took me out,
Otaku~Relief: But
Nico_s: oh no.. she's in the wrong
Otaku~Relief: when she reached in to get something
Otaku~Relief: she dropped me
Otaku~Relief: That's all I remember
Otaku~Relief: I just know I was crying because I was scared
Nico_s: This is why I ran away at 16. I couldn't deal with my father's crap.
Moonbeam Baby: *sighs and snuggles into nico more* thats horrible
Otaku~Relief: How did you manage? Where did you go/
Otaku~Relief: ?
Nico_s: I went to California and by luck got a job. I lived with a few people and made it that way.
Nico_s: it's hard
Otaku~Relief: Yeah, but, I have heart problems
Otaku~Relief: I don't think I could do that
Nico_s: I see
JJandthebansheES: didn't you change your name when you're there?
279Ness leaves the chat.
JJandthebansheES: Nico**
Nico_s: there is always a way to everything , just be positive
Otaku~Relief: My mom did drugs while she was pregnant with me
Otaku~Relief: so, I was affected when I was born
Nico_s: no I never changed my name
dark emo fox enters the chat.
Otaku~Relief: Change my name?
Otaku~Relief: No
Otaku~Relief: I did
Otaku~Relief: n't
dark emo fox: hi
Otaku~Relief: Hi
Moonbeam Baby: howdy
Nico_s: hello fox
Moonbeam Baby: *slow wave*
Otaku~Relief: I just feel that it's hopeless, you know?
JJandthebansheES: Otaku. was your grand parents any better or did they treat you the same?
Otaku~Relief: No, they never hurt me
Nico_s: *lightly touches moonbeams face with his nose* so soft.. *turns to look at Otaku* I understand completely. I thought I was going to die alone out there.
JJandthebansheES: they'd never do what your mother did you to?
Moonbeam Baby: heehee *sighs*
Otaku~Relief: No. But they don't let me eat properly
Moonbeam Baby: they starve you?
JJandthebansheES: are you still in school?
Otaku~Relief: or let me pick out the clothes I wear
Otaku~Relief: Or go outside
Otaku~Relief: or anything
Nico_s: I'd rather starve then to get abuse.
Otaku~Relief: Yes
Otaku~Relief: They don't hurt me though
Moonbeam Baby: thats good
Otaku~Relief: We argue a lot though
JJandthebansheES: *sigh* i was hoping they'd be your home though
JJandthebansheES: v.v
Nico_s: yeah I would stay with them and sneek food
Otaku~Relief: and they're kinda weird
Otaku~Relief: O.o
Otaku~Relief: I live with them
Otaku~Relief: They have custody of me
Otaku~Relief: My mom is living with us
Nico_s: grandparents are all weird I think heh
Moonbeam Baby: i say get a restraining order agasint ur mom
Otaku~Relief: I have 5 siblings, by the way
JJandthebansheES: what i meant was i thought you're better off with them, Otaku
Otaku~Relief: Oh
Nico_s: I'd kick her out of the house. Give her a taste of her own medicine.
Otaku~Relief: My grandma won't allow it
Otaku~Relief: you see
Nico_s: ah okay
Otaku~Relief: she's her mom and while she doesn't like her
Otaku~Relief: she still loves her and doesn't want her to get hurt
Nico_s: that is weird
Otaku~Relief: yeah
Nico_s: I see
Moonbeam Baby: *yawns and snuggles into nico, hugging him*
Moonbeam Baby: im going to bed
Otaku~Relief: my mom has the mentality of a five year old, by the way
JJandthebansheES: and what about you?
Nico_s: *plays with Moonbeams hair while he listens to Otaku*
Otaku~Relief: What do you mean?
Moonbeam Baby: goodnight
Otaku~Relief: Oh
JJandthebansheES: what about what you need?
Otaku~Relief: Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Nico_s: goodnight ^_^
Nico_s: you too
JJandthebansheES: did they think of that, Otaku?
dark emo fox leaves the chat.
Otaku~Relief: I don't know
Moonbeam Baby: you too! good karma to you all (ADD ME?)
Otaku~Relief: I never even though about that
Otaku~Relief: Okies!
Nico_s: ^_^ okay
JJandthebansheES: about what?
Moonbeam Baby: ^_^
Moonbeam Baby: nite
Moonbeam Baby leaves the chat.
Otaku~Relief: About my needs
Otaku~Relief: I dunno
Otaku~Relief: I'm always thinking and worrying about everyone else
Otaku~Relief: So, I never have time to think about my needs
JJandthebansheES: you can do that, but NEVER forget about yourself as well or you'll rot away without knowing
Otaku~Relief: Oh
Nico_s: oh well you should worry about what you need and try your best to get it done
Otaku~Relief: Well, I think I've been doing better than how I used to be
Otaku~Relief: I don't cut anymore
JJandthebansheES: that's good
Otaku~Relief: And I trust people more
JJandthebansheES: oh yes. i almost forgot
Otaku~Relief: ?
JJandthebansheES: you can still help people, but don't let them take advantage of it
Otaku~Relief: What do you mean?
JJandthebansheES: they'll benefit from you until you're all cleaned out
Otaku~Relief: Benefit?
Otaku~Relief: Like
Otaku~Relief: take my stuff?
Otaku~Relief: and only be my friends for it?
[x]Bulimia[x] enters the chat.
JJandthebansheES: the moment you feel sorry for someone who can't take care of themselves, Otaku
Otaku~Relief: I take care of a lot of people all the time
Otaku~Relief: I try to make them feel better
Otaku~Relief: and give them open-minded advice
JJandthebansheES: if you let them feed from the palm of your hands, they won't know when enough is enough unless you tell them to
JJandthebansheES: **
Otaku~Relief: then I draw them things to make them feel better
Otaku~Relief: Oh, but how do I know when enough is enough?
JJandthebansheES: well, you told us yourself how your grand parents treated you
Otaku~Relief: Yeah
Otaku~Relief: I've never even climbed a tree before
JJandthebansheES: and you've gone out of your way for them, have you not?
Otaku~Relief: Or been stung by a bee
Otaku~Relief: O.o
Otaku~Relief: All the time
JJandthebansheES: and you never thought about yourself in return?
Otaku~Relief: No, I just want them to be happy
Otaku~Relief: Is that bad?
Otaku~Relief: O.O
JJandthebansheES: *sigh* no. it's not
Otaku~Relief: Oh, I don't understand
JJandthebansheES: if you want them to be happy. that's good, but don't single yourself out
Otaku~Relief: What do you mean?
Otaku~Relief: I'm sorry
JJandthebansheES: your depression
Otaku~Relief: I don't mean to make things difficult
Otaku~Relief: ><;
JJandthebansheES: your misery
Otaku~Relief: What about them?
Nico_s: how can you be worried about what makes everyone else happy when they don't care to see or do what would make you happy?
JJandthebansheES: you're giving, but there's nothing in it for you, is there?
Otaku~Relief: I don't know. I never thought about it that way.
Otaku~Relief: I like to make other people happy I guess
Nico_s: well that is just unfair and those other people are inconsiderate.
Otaku~Relief: I suppose not...but why does there have to be? I don't want to be nice just so I can get stuff in return
JJandthebansheES: that's good. it's good when you do selfless acts Otaku, but don't let the downside of it eat you alive
Otaku~Relief: My name is Mich, by the way
JJandthebansheES: JJ
Otaku~Relief: Eat me alive...hmm, is that what it's doing?
Otaku~Relief: It's nice to meet you. ^^
Nico_s: the reason I said that was because I've been taken advantage before.. many times. I do any and everything for someone and they don't even appreciate it.
JJandthebansheES: yes. you're doing all that you can, but you're not shown the love and respect you deserve**
Nico_s: I never wanted anything but respect in return
Nico_s: exactly
Otaku~Relief: Oh, well, I guess I'm just used to it
Nico_s: a simple hug or thank you is great enough for me.
Otaku~Relief: No one has ever treated me differently
Otaku~Relief: Not my friends
Otaku~Relief: my family
Otaku~Relief: anyone
Nico_s: *nods*
JJandthebansheES: indeed
JJandthebansheES: well, i'm going. remember what i said honey ^_^
Otaku~Relief: Okay
JJandthebansheES: *kisses everyone include Mich* goodnight*
Otaku~Relief: Can we talk again?
Otaku~Relief: Later?
JJandthebansheES: sure
Nico_s: night ^_^
Otaku~Relief: Thank you
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