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WARNING: this is a story full of plot holes and spelling errors. Your IQ may drop a significant amount when you are done reading this.
Comic Manuscript Issue #1
C-Swirl: Mmm that was good food
Tree: yeah but I’m still hungry
Elmo: too bad we don’t have anymore money
C-Swirl: yeah, you ate so much we could barely afford to get our own food
Jimmy: Hey, I know let’s go to the First Church of Jemanity
(Author’s note: Jemanity refers to a group of people known as Jemima’s witnesses, who go door to door with pancakes)
*they ignore him*
Tree: I’ve got it, we’ll go to the First Church of Jemanity
C-Swirl: that’s the best idea you’ve had all day
Jimmy: Hey that was my idea
Elmo: No Jimmy that was Tree’s idea, he said it first
*Jimmy gets mad and explodes*
Tree: sweet! Free hat
C-Swirl: *sighs* I’ll get the ash tray
Elmo: now that we’re done with that insignificant annoyance, let’s go eat
Tree: yes, ask not for whom the bell tolls for it tolls for breakfast
Elmo: what the hell does that mean?
Tree: *in a philosophical voice* someday you’ll understand the importance of what I just said
C-Swirl: hey look, we’re here
*They all walk in*
Tree: these pancakes are awesome
C-Swirl: well I’m full let’s go
Jimmy: fine I’ll get take out
*Elmo, Tree, and C-Swirl walk out*
Jimmy: Hey, can I get this to go
Jemima’s Witness: Sorry honey, we don’t do take out
*Jimmy gets mad and explodes*
Meanwhile outside the church…
KABOOM!
Tree: oh no!
C-Swirl: oh no!
Elmo: oh no!
*Kool-aid man busts out of the rubble*
Kool-Aid man: oh yeah!
*question marks appear over their heads*
Jimmy: anyways
Tree: Jimmy when did you get back
Jimmy: I climbed out after the Kool-Aid man
Tree: oh
Elmo: hey what’s that on your back Jimmy?
*tree takes the note*
Tree: it says “we have Jimmy and if you ever want to see him again bring us 100 billion dollars by tomorrow.”
Elmo: what, Jimmy’s right here. Tree you’re reading the note upside-down
Tree: right I knew that, I was just testing you. The note says they took C-Swirl
Jimmy: so our mission is to raise the money for the exchange!
Tree: No you retarded midget! Our mission is to find the guys that took C-Swirl and beat them to a bloody pulp
Elmo: but we have to find him first
Jimmy: found him
*Tree and Elmo look over to see Jimmy in another panel*
Elmo: Jimmy, how did you do that? I mean you’re not supposed to be able to do that
Tree: I know! It’s because he’s such a loser that the laws of physics don’t recognize Jimmy as a person
Jimmy: I can still hear you ya know
Elmo: He knows that’s why he said it
Jimmy: I hate you so much
*Tree appears next to Jimmy*
Tree: I know
Jimmy: how did you do that?
Tree: unlike Elmo, I don’t waste my time listening to you at all
Elmo: he has a point, listening to you is a bigger waste of time than watching George W. Bush think
*Tree appears next to Elmo*
Tree: I totally agree with that
Elmo: how the hell do you keep doing that?
Tree: I’m just awesome like that
*meanwhile at the bad guy’s hideout*
C-Swirl: zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ
Pirate: why is he sleeping?
Jimmy: he’s lazy what can I say
Hey, wake up or I’ll make Jimmy explode
C-Swirl: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Pirate: that’s it make him explode!
Jimmy: oh no!
C-Swirl: oh no!
*Kool aid man breaks through the wall*
Kool-Aid man: OH YEAH!
*Afroman flies through the wall*
Afroman: Afro-electric BlasT!
Kool-Aid Man: Oh s**t!
*Kool aid man explodes*
Afroman: It wasn’t even funny the first time
Tree: ya got that right
*Afroman jumps back in surprise*
Afroman: when did you get here Tree?
Tree: right before the Kool aid man went boom
Afroman: oh ok anyways Afroman away
Waffles: that was cool
Elmo: waffles what are you doing here?
Waffles: I was a sudden write in
*Jimmy roundhouse kicks waffles in the face and he dies*
Tree: obviously the writer doesn’t like you very much Waffles
*waffles gurgles blood*
Elmo: wow waffles Jimmy killed you
C-Swirl: yeah you’re weak
Tree: Ha! That’s what happens when you’re hated by the writer
C-Swirl: alright fun’s over can you get me outta here now
Elmo: sorry between the Kool aid man’s sudden death by afro-electrocution and waffles getting owned by Jimmy we just forgot
C-Swirl: understandable just get me untied
Pirate: not so fast!
Tree: dude, what’s your problem?
Pirate: have you forgotten? You beat me in the last issue
Elmo: what, this is the first issue of this comic
C-Swirl: yeah even Jimmy’s not that stupid
Tree: I wouldn’t be so sure about that
Jimmy: hey!
Elmo: secret technique: Big Bird Delicious Egg Bombs
Pirate: ahh it’s delicious but I’m dying
*Jimmy runs up, eats the egg, and explodes*
Tree: told you he wasn’t smart
C-Swirl: *sighs* I’ll get the ash tray… Again
Tree: don’t bother just go get a trash can
Elmo: that’s just mean
Tree: and now we’ll go to Tokyo for no good reason
*summons his ice cream plane*
Elmo: I thought you could only summon an ice cream truck
Tree: nope, anything with an ice cream symbol is fair game
C-Swirl: why are we going to Tokyo?
Tree: the hell if I know ask the writer
C-Swirl: fine, Mr. Writer why are we going to Tokyo
Writer: because I said so now shut up and get in the plane
Elmo: we should probably do what he says, I mean look at what happened to Jimmy and waffles
Tree: but those were all really funny especially waffles death. That was fun for the whole family to watch
Elmo: whatever let’s just go
*they all get on the plane*
Elmo: wow, this is a nice plane. How did you afford it?
Tree: I…Uh…uhm…I won the lottery
C-Swirl: really?
Tree: uhm yeah let’s go with that
Jimmy: you guys realize that nobody’s played the lottery since I was little, right?
Tree: so someone played the lottery just now
Jimmy: you know what I mean
Tree: I don’t know why the writers decide to keep bringing you back but it’s pissing me off
Elmo: hey we’re here
C-Swirl: wow already this thing is fast
Tree: yep oh and bye Jimmy
Jimmy: what?
*Tree opens the cargo doors and Jimmy falls*
Elmo: what was that for?
Tree: eh, I was bored
*pilot’s voice comes on*
Pilot: we’ll be landing in about a minute
*they exit the plane*
Tree: Tokyo, the land of Sushi and Anime
Jimmy: and Pizza, don’t forget Pizza
Elmo: no Jimmy Pizza came from Italy
C-Swirl: hey is that what I think it is?
Tree: nope it’s just a lizard under a magnifying glass. Jimmy, you can take care of this one
Jimmy: yeah
*Jimmy runs up to the monster and it crushes him*
Tree: well, I’m hungry let’s go to the Second Church of Jemanity
Elmo: but Jimmy blew that up
Tree: that was the First Church, the second one is here in Tokyo
Elmo: wait, wasn’t Jimmy’s flattened corpse right there a second ago?
C-Swirl: yeah, I wonder where he is
Tree: who cares wherever he is he’s probably in horrible agony
(Meanwhile wherever the hell Jimmy is)
Jimmy: where am I?
*collapses from dehydration*
Cactus: oh no
Snake: oh no
Scorpion: oh no
*Kool aid man seemingly rises from the dead*
Kool aid man: oh yes
*Jimmy tackles him and drinks him*
Jimmy: refreshing, but wait I thought that Afroman killed him already
Writer: he did that was his generic non copyrighted 2nd cousin, Sergeant Fruit Juice
Jimmy: ooooooook
*Jimmy walks into the Tokyo panel*
Tree: see there’s Jimmy and he looks like hell
Elmo: let’s go
C-Swirl: ok
*they’re walking down the street*
Elmo: hey are those the power rangers?
Tree: looks like they’re fighting some badly thought up monsters
Power Knights: we’re not the power rangers!
Red Power Knight: we’re the non-copyrighted rip offs of the power rangers
Tree: looks like you could use some help
Red: no we’re fine
*they’re getting their asses kicked*
Elmo: don’t be foolish, we’re obviously stronger than you guys
Tree: and besides you’re wearing latex armor
Red: fine you can kill one
*C-Swirl uppercuts a monster, Elmo hit one with a car, and Tree eats one*
Red: hey, I said you could kill one
Tree: we got bored so we killed them all
*interrupted by reporters*
Elmo: hey, we killed the monsters not them
Red: don’t listen to them they’re lying
C-Swirl: no we’re not, they are
Tree: let’s settle this here and now
(Random voice yells out)
Voice: FIGHT!
Elmo: quick tree throw Jimmy
Tree: uhm…yeah there’s a slight problem
Elmo: Tree, did you throw Jimmy at the monsters?
Tree: I……….uhmmmmmmm
Elmo; you threw him at the monsters didn’t you
Tree: Y-yeah
Jimmy: its ok, C-swirl seems to be handling them quite nicely on his own
Tree: Jimmy, what did I tell you about using words that are bigger than you are?
Waffles: that means nothing more than two letters
*Tree hits Waffles in the back of the head and he dies*
Tree: that was my joke you hack
Elmo: why did you kill Waffles?
Tree: I had no choice, the writer made me do it
Elmo: oh yah and we al know how much the writers hate Waffles
Jimmy: yeah almost as much as they hate me
*a pancake flies from out of nowhere and cuts off Jimmy’s head*
Elmo: what the hell was that?
Tree: that was a Jemima’s Witness ninja technique, Pancake shuriken
C-Swirl: who are you, mister
Mysterious Stranger: I am Sir Up, the legendary pancake ninja and I have come to serve my master
Tree: A welcome addition to the team
Sir Up: Yes sir, you have my word that I will protect you
*a waffle flies from nowhere and hits him*
Tree: oh crap
Sir Up: An enemy ninja from the Disciples of Eggo
*Spiderman comes down and kills both ninjas*
Tree: thanks Spider man
Spiderman: everybody gets one
Elmo: well, that was a completely random series of events
Jimmy: yep
Tree: look at C-Swirl fight
*he’s giving them noogies and going WWE Smackdown on them*
(5 minutes later)
C-Swirl: that was easy
Jimmy: looked like it was
C-Swirl: Jimmy, You’re back
Tree: why are you surprised? He comes back all the time.
Elmo: yeah, in fact he came back died and came back again while you were fighting
Voice: Finish Them!
*they throw Jimmy at the Power Knights and he explodes*
Voice: Fatality
*Tree looks around*
Tree: who keeps saying that?
C-Swirl: hey, there’s a note on the ground
*he picks up the note*
C-Swirl: looks like they kidnapped Jimmy
Tree: so?
Elmo: Tree raises a good point, who cares?
C-Swirl: normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, but they plan to use hi to blow up the entire universe
Elmo: oh o
Tree: who cares?
Random citizen: oh no
Jimmy’s Twin Brother (who happens to be Asian): oh no
*Kool-Aid man bursts out of Jimmy’s brother*
Kool-Aid Man: Oh Yeah!
*Tree shoots the Kool aid man in the face*
Tree: Will you guys stop saying “oh no”?
Elmo: why?
Tree: cuz if ya don’t the freakin Kool aid man is gonna keep busting through walls
C-Swirl: let’s just go save Jimmy
Tree: If we have to
Elmo: Away!
*sudden transition to desert scene*
Tree: there’s their nuclear reactor
Elmo: C-swirl and I will take care of it
C-Swirl: right
*Afroman appears and kills them both*
Tree: oh well life goes on…. Except for them*laughs*
Waffles: I’ll disable it
Suicide Bomber: ALLA AKBA!!
*blows up Waffles*
Tree: heh, stupid guy forgot his twenty bucks
*Jimmy goes supernova and blows up the universe as Tree takes Elmo and C-Swirl into a portal to a different dimension*
To Be Continued…
- by The Legendary Pimp Tree |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/02/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: The Chronicles of Team Tree
- Artist: The Legendary Pimp Tree
- Description:
- Date: 09/02/2008
- Tags: chronicles team tree
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Umbra Tiger - 09/02/2008
- Ahhhhhh my IQ *brain catches on fire*
- Report As Spam
- krispykillah - 09/02/2008
- Lol, pretty funny. JW are there more issues where that one came from?
- Report As Spam
Chapter 4: Damn them all
okay! the next part in my s...
Shut up and read it.