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It was 13 years ago that I first made my request for a dog to my mother. We had recently lost our last dog because he ran away. I was too young to understand or remember him so I don't know what he was like. But I know I liked having a dog. Over the next few weeks I would repeat my request and would recieve the same silence in response. But one day I recieved a pleasant surprise in the form of a car ride to a house that happened to be selling puppies. I walked in the door accompanied by my parents and my little brother. The first thing I noticed were the puppies darting from room to room as they played joyfully with eachother. Their mother was a dalmatian and their father a rat terrier. Of course the only thing you noticed was the adorable pattern of white with black spots. Their presence in the room was over whelming for a small child like me. I wanted so badly to chase after them and join in their fun. But I knew I had to behave my self in the company of strangers. So instead I dropped to my knees and waited for one to come to me. It was only a few seconds later that I was noticed by one of them. This puppy was smaller than all the others and trailed at the back of the group because of his small stature. He stopped to look at me for a moment, then watched as the rest of the group frolicked into the next room. With the chase lost he turned back to me and approached with caution. I opened my arms to accept him and play with him. What he did was not stop to sniff me, or lay down to be pet, or even to drop his fore paws and invite play. He instead walked right up to me and placed his paws up on my shoulders in a hug I'll never forget. After that I knew we had to have him. I begged my mother furiously for this one out of all the others. A few days later we were taking him home in a small cardboard box. The years passed and we quickly made him a part of the family. We loved him and cared for him as he did for us. He slept with us and ate with us every day for a long time. He was always there to greet us when we got home and he was always at the door to say good bye with cutest begging eyes, pleading for us to stay, when we left. The house hold slowly emptied as the divorce took my father away and my brother ran away. But peanut was always there and we only grew closer as I became the oldest male in the house. But the time came when I too had to leave for college. That day was tough for me, to know it would be many months between visits. I had a picture of him that I took to keep me company until then. I saw him again that first semester when I came back for a visit. I came back and didn't return home for the rest of the semester and all of the next one. That was the last time I ever saw my little dog. My mother left him in a kennel one day as she left for California on business. He died that week in that kennel all alone. I found out 10 days later and was devistated.

It hurts me to know that my dog died in a small metal box in a strange place with no one he knew there to be with him. I always wanted to be there to comfort him as he passed away. But I missed that chance and could do nothing to ease him into the next world. He was only thirteen years old and loved so much. I miss him and wish I could have seen him at least one more time. His body was creamated the day he died and his ashes were scattered behind the veterinary office. I wanted to give him a proper funeral, one he deserved. But the only thing I was left with was a promise of one of his possesions. And even that may not be possible. He was my closest friend, always there to cheer me up and make me happy no matter what. I just hope his last few moments could have been as happy as he made me in the duration of his lifetime.

But I know that what is done is done, and I can't change anything about this any more. Peanut may be gone but only physically. I will let him go where ever he has gone but he will never be forgotten. His memory will last forever, going where he couldn't have gone in life. I love my dog, and I will never forget what he has done for me and how he has changed me.