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I know I'm going to regret this later...

I quit my baby... my brain child... and now i know the plot will die with out me there. But I'm just tired... tired of being the one that comes up with everything tired of being the one running diagnostics...

maybe it's just cause I'm a bit upset- I know I shouldn't be but I feel a certain way... it's hard to explain but... my chest hurts a little and I'm actually crying. Maybe because I just gave up my one form of expressing my self, or maybe it's because my best friend rather tell some one she hardly knows what she's planning... rather than her best friend. Maybe I would have been better off not knowing it was her. I really didn't care who that new person was but now... now that I know it's her... my illusions of actually having fresh blood on my brain child... died.

I know I shouldn't be angry... or upset but I just can't help it... just in case either of them read this... I'm sorry for snapping this way. I guess over all I felt a little left out of the loop... and I hate being left out... I always have. Maybe this is my way of seeking attention, that I'm just being a cry baby about this but... How the hell would you feel if your best friend keeps something from you and leaves you in the dark for awhile? Only to tell you when you really had no interest in knowing. *sigh* I'm just ranting now... I need to cool off so maybe some hard time away from Darkwood Academy will do me some good... I hope when I do come back I'm not so out of the loop.

I don't know why... but I feel a little... empty now... yesterday I knew it was going to be just one of those days you wished you stayed in bed.... and now I wish she never told me...

Jasmin