|
|
|
Dear Whoever,
Have you ever lost someone you held close to your heart? If you have, then you know how I feel...
~Mamaw~
Long ago, or at least it seems that way, I lost someone who knew me better than any. It was but a few years back, yet it seems like it has been forever since I saw her smile. She was more than just my mamaw,(southern word for grand-mother), she was everything to me...
As it would seem, I was in West Virginia, enjoying my break from school. I was out in the yard, running around and playing with the dogs. The dogs are Molly and Badger, they are sibling pembroke welsh corgis. I heard my dad telling me to go inside for a minute.
Oh, I thought, he needs me to do something for him. I hope he doesn't keep me long.
I raced the dogs to the back door, laughing as Molly growled at Badger. Badger swerved to the side and fell behind us. I opened the screen door and let the dogs in, placing my foot in between each of them so they don't run over eachother.
My heart dropped, my stomach felt odd, and I just knew something was wrong.
My mother stood before me, including my Papaw,(southern word for grand-father). They seemed troubled and distracted. They looked at me with worried looks, then they beconed for me to go up the stairs.
"Midnight,(you don't expect me to put my real name in, do you?) we need to talk." My mother's face looked pale and far-off. I caught a tear trickling down her cheek as I walked up the steps. My Papaw's eyes were visibly watering.
I chanced a look back at my dad down the stairs, his eyes were pink, filled with tears he had yet to shed. His face had a blank expression, as if he didn't know what to say.
I bit my lip, I started to bleed, so I bit in deeper. I reached the last step, pushing aside my blonde hair as it tried to cover my face. I walked slowly to the futon, sitting down with a slight sigh.
I mindlessly began to think about what was happening.
Great, another worthless little talk... I hope I don't have to go back to North Carolina yet. That would suck, I hate that boring place.
My mother sat down beside me, my Papaw decided to stand.
"Midnight, did your father tell you?" My mother looked at me with the perfect picture of sorrow.
"No he di-- wait? Tell me what?" I looked up at her with eyes that would force you to tell them anything they wanted. My curiosity was aroused.
My Papaw looked down at the floor, then slowly shifted his gaze to me. "Well, er, you see..." He trailed off, several tears falling into the begining of a small beard, "Mamaw is, you see..."
I immediatly became alert. Yes, Papaw. What about Mamaw? I couldn't bring myself to say the words. Mamaw had been battling cancer at the hospital for a very long time now.
My mother suddenly began to let her tears fall, cascading down like a small waterfall. Papaw didn't need to finish his sentence.
"Midnight, Mamaw is gone!"
My mother suddenly began weeping like a small child who lost her doll. She fell into my arms. I wrapped them around her neck, trying to comfort her.
Silently, tears had begun to fall down my cheeks.
This can't be true, I thought to myself, no,no. It can't be, not Mamaw. Not now. She just can't be dead.
"How-- why?"
I couldn't briing myself to finish the sentence. My entire world, now suddenly came to a screeching halt.
My Papaw had been silent throughout this, crying to himself.
He finaly brought himself to speak, "We're going to the funeral tommorow, do you want to stay with us at the hotel? Or here with your daddy?"
His words came out slowly and with great effort, my answer was obvious.
"I, I'll stay here."
My voice was quiet and scared. It all seemed too horrible to be the truth.
My mind drifted back to all my memories, all the times I could have seen her... gone. Now, I could never hear her voice again. All those memories... now became all I had left of her. My thoughts slowly drifted toward the possibilities.
Gone. I can't believe it. I won't believe it. I must be sleeping, that's it! I'm sleeping. This is all a nightmare. This isn't happening. I have dreams like this all the time.
I tried to reasure myself that I was sleeping, yet the cold tears streaming down my face told me otherwise. Yet, like a rumor, the more you tell yourself it's real, the realer it becomes.
To be continued...
(feel free to comment and ask questions! I'll write more on what happened back then, yet I gotta go finish my language arts homework. I will try to answer all your questions asap! Today I got a lot to do, so, I'll write more as soon as I can!)
 Kitsune Yin · Tue Apr 15, 2008 @ 11:00pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
