i... i.... i understand. i felt the same way... just, just do something i couldn't, ok? spend as much time with him as possible..... you never know... i didn't...
.......but then Mamaw was gone... i wasn't able to see her... i couldn't even tell her goodbye..... she had cancer too... talking on this subject is making my vision blurry. it's hard to type this way... my eyes are sorta starting to water..... i understand....... don't forget one thing though ok? no matter how hard it may seem, he still loves you, he always will.... even in heaven...
he's always with you in your heart... he always will be. Mamaw always is in my heart. it's been years since she died. i, i think it was in winter she died...... that, that's why...... that's why i always seem so distant and cold hearted in winter. we lost Papaw, my real papaw, on my mom's birthday before i was even thought of......... i just want you to do one thing, ok? when he goes, just before he dies...... tell him.... you love him........ and good-bye.............
that will be the freshest memory in his mind when he goes... to heaven....
don't forget, even if you're miles away... im always with you, in your heart, in your memory, and in your soul....
just talk to me in your dreams, talk to me in a room while nobody is around. you can think of what i'd say. just remember this, i love you, sister. and you love me, all sisters do. you should take this knowledge, rose, and try to visit him as soon and much as possible.
well, i love you, ok, sister? try to do the few things i told you before, and if, he goes. just remember little old Uae is by your side. i may seem like a little blonde girl trying to hide secrets, yet the secrets are knowledge. i have experienced some things few wish to. you know this. the most terrifying thing in my life, was losing Mamaw. yet now, i have her to watch over me, as my guardian angel. he will be yours, too. tell me when he, if he, dies. i want to pray a safe journey for him... maybe he will get it. i want you to remember, im always with you. no matter what. well, BELIEVE IT!!! COZ IF U DON'T I'LL RUN ON UP TO FLORIDA AND GET YOU!!!!! well, try to do like i told. i just want you to be able to do what i couldn't... say goodbye.
Faithful to you, sister,
Uae Nightshade Yin
