B_Lynn
prince romanov
B_Lynn
prince romanov
B_Lynn
Hey, just wanted to say thanks for all the help you're giving me. Do you think it would be okay for me to sometimes PM you if I have questions? If you don't want me to, that's fine, I'll just continue to post in the noob thread. >.<
i absolutely love to be asked questions! ^.^ all i ask is that you also ask other people the same stuff you ask me. but please, don't hesitate to PM me any questions you have. 3nodding
Thank you!! You're very kind. ^ ^
of course dear. is it ok if i were to ask you something? i realy want to know what you think of my predicament... you see, a friend of mine, sydney, who is 15, had gotten over her ex boyfriend finally, but she started to enjoy spending intimate time with a number of crushes, and this included me. now, this also included lots of astral sex, and she bore me children... 4 of them. they were born last monday, and for so long now i have been feeling so happy... yesterday morning i thin, she had told me that she wanted me to go back to being her best friend instead of her lover, and that she has decided that she is done being sexual for a long time. i was perfectly ok with it, but on my walk home, my mind just... popped. it was like waking up from a dream of being blissfull and peacefull, and upon waking up finding myself to be a violent monster, and i am afraid of myself because i now want to slaughter everyone in the world, for no real reason. i feel a little betrayed and confused... and don't know what she means as far as ... you know, like the family and all that... i realy shouldn't be this afraid, though... i mean... you don't think she'd want to keep me from my own babies do you?
It's great that you care so much about your children. I'm sorry about the situation, but I think it's probably because she's feeling insecure about the whole thing, and maybe she didn't really plan on having children. No, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to keep you from your own children, because you ARE their father. Every child should grow up with a father in their life, and I think she'll probably see that. Is the reason you're so upset about all of this because you truly loved her? If that's the case, then I think you should not take the situation as over with, because it's very possible that she's just confused about all of this, because she is only fifteen. I would give it time, wait to see how she deals with it. Don't give up hope, because the only time a situation is truly bad is if you have no hope.
B_Lynn
prince romanov
B_Lynn
prince romanov
well, i love her, and moreso than alot of girls i have been with, but i am not in love with her, leastways not like the one girl i always will be, hopless as that particular wish is... no, i think these feelings of violence stem from a paranoia of betrayal, of fear of how difficult it may be to feel comfortable in the relationship that she wants to shift to... and still part of me knows that it would be unfair of me to force her to stay a certain way with me f she doesn't want to, and all of me knows that i would not be happy to let such a thing happen anyway... i'm just afraid, and very confused, and feel like killing people...
So you feel kind of like she betrayed you, when you two sort of had, well, almost everything together? That's normal, but I think maybe talking to her about it may help a bit. Just telling her how you feel, and asking her about your kids, having you still be able to be with them... I think that will help you. Of course it's going to be difficult to adjust to being friends instead of lovers, but I think that they both are very similar, seeing as they both are from different types of love. Friendship is a love and care for a person, without actually being in love. I think that, if you try to still care for her and watch out for her, you won't see much difference (excluding the intimate part). She most likely is feeling as uncomfortable as you are. Maybe she's worried about having kids at such a young age? I myself can only be here to talk to you, to let you explain your feelings, but I cannot get rid of the problem, or fix it, because I am not part of the situation. I really think you need to talk to her, tell her how you're feeling, and ask what kind of things she's feeling about this. Maybe she is feeling betrayed, because she didn't want children, at least not yet.
hearing you say this, and thinking back on it... it makes alot of sense... i can see signs now that i missed... and i am feeling ashamed. ... i hate this, even happiness is painfull to me. damnit. ... but thank you. i do appreciate this. ... also, i make it a rule to always maintain friendship with everyone i care about, even during loving relationships the friendship is pesent, and always comes first. i never would endanger a friendship for the sake of pursuing something deeper.
I can understand, to some extent, how you are feeling. It's like nothing ever goes right. But, I think the happiness itself was not painful to you, was it? It's what came after. You'll probably feel better, if you think about how you now have children, and focus on caring for and loving them. They really will need it, seeing as you two broke up. That is a very kind rule that you have, to always maintain friendships, and to always have them come first. It seems like you always keep the other person in mind before yourself. I think that is a very admirable thing. I do hope that you and your friend figure things out, and that things go well, between you two, and your children. Just remember that just because you and your friend aren't lovers any more, doesn't mean you can't take care of your children together. They should be able to know that they have two loving parents.
... i didn't even know i was considered her "lover" until she told me to stop being her lover... and as for putting others before myself, it isn't as noble as it seems. i just don't realy matter anyway because i have nothing to live for. in a way i guess i m suicidal, except that i still have the survival instinct and won't try to do anything. it's a long story realy...
