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I'm in Maine right now. I like Maine. But I don't like my grandfather's internet conection. It's even slower than mine.

All the relative people left. Now it's just me, Leah, my mom, and my grandparents. It's boring and hot, but people could come back a little.

My mom now has a vendetta against the clams in the lake. She says they hurt her feet. She has been gathering them up and putting them in a crate. I tell her it's pointless and potentionally damaging to the environment, but she won't listen. They hurt her feet.

One of the relatives that left is my cousin Jacob, who just had (or, his wife had) two kids. One is too small to move much; the other I taught about Mess. I let him spill salt and pepper and flowers all over the table. Then I had to clean it up. His name is Samuel (not, as he will tell you, Sam). His brother is Jonah.

Jacob's sister Sarah came too. She had news. She's pregnant. With twins. This is bad. Not for her, for us. It is tradition that all the female relatives embroider squares for a quilt for babies. We aren't even done with Jonah's.

Sarah's husband, Sean, had a toothache. And he's in a death metal band. He's a drummer. He very much likes death metal. He wants me to like death metal. I told him that's not likely.

Oh, and my cousin Darren got engaged. My aunt Judy had me make a present. Her husband found some pieces of slate with holes in them at the dump. One of them was heart-shaped and I painted a bluebird on it. I am surprised at how well it turned out. Now she wants me to do one with a loon for the camp. I'm procrastinating.

In a week or so, all those relative people will go to New Hampshire and go hiking. We are going to stay at the Lake of the Clouds, the most desired hut in the White Mountains. And we'll climb the real Mt. Washington. And buy milkshakes at the top. There's a cable car thing like on the fake Mt. Washington, so we get to leer at the puny tourists. And buy milkshakes.

I have eaten far too much strawberry shortcake recently.