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Well, everything a little funky right now, yet again I am unemployed, I found that out Monday morning, I guess I didn't make the cut even though I thought I was doing well. That day I was kind of depressed, I felt crappy knowing that I haven't kept a job long at all this whole year, and this time I couldn't keep a job for two weeks, not just that but I was going to use the money to kill the last bit of debt I have (That grew quite a bit...) and I was planning on saving up almost everything for college. So yeah, that one hit me hard, and the morning I heard it my insomnia was worse than it ever was before, I didn't get any sleep until maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. But after I got some rest I felt a little better.

But with that things are getting interesting for me in a way, my grandmother and my little siblings' foster parent plotted a little surprise for them...I'll be going to see them this weekend! Even though that means being in Montana it's going to be so awesome! I can't wait for that, and there's no way I can type how excited I am for that!

I also had an interesting thought process recently. You see some of my friends are really getting into PETA and becoming vegan or vegetarian to help save animals and the usual thing I hear is how if everyone stopped eating meat animals wouldn't be slaughtered cruely for consumption. Now I'm totally for saving animals, and though I eat meat I'd never personally kill an animal of any kind only because I believe strongly in karma and I wouldn't want that sort of an act to come back and smite me, unless I truly had no choice in the matter. Thing is I don't really see how that would stop them from being killed, yes if not eating meat became an idea everyone did then...It would only slow down the slaughter. Thing is to get it t work you'd also have to come up with vegan cat and dog food. That might sound strange but seeing how cats and dogs are carniverous there food has meat in it, which means that somewhere some animals are made to die to feed these pets, and thus the slaughtering would still commence, but possibly at a lesser scale. But on a health note it's actually crazy healthy to be a vegetarian, a vegetarian could easy stay healthy however for a vegan it's a lot harder. But to the few who have chosen a change of diet to help save some animals God bless you, and to the aithest animal savers...You get no blessing, but I'd give you a pat on the back for having a good heart.

Also my thought process went to a funny turn when a co-worker I worked with on Sunday gave me a tootsie pop. I noticed a native on the wrapper, and I remembered how kids in elementary school used to say that if there's a "indian" (I call them natives out of both respect and the fact that Christopher Columbus was a dumbass.) on the wrapper you can use it to get a free sucker. I thought, oddly comically into a native's perspetive on it. I imaged one over-dramatically thinking: "They took our land, put us on shitty land, and now our images means that they get free suckers...Those bastards!" Just remember that my brain is a dangerous thing when it's tired, it goes to places it normally doesn't go...Oh, and yes, I am tired but I can't sleep now, heheh, I guess if I'm lucky I'll go to bed in a few hours.
And I hope that no one thought that that thought was at all racist, I'd feel horrible if that actually offends someone. Same goes for my other thought.

On the bright side my thoughts bring me amusement when I can't find any elsewhere, and sometimes the smallest things provide me with the greatest amusement (If you need proof ask Shana about the garage sale with the noisy toy I bought and/or ask Nicole about me at Victoria Secret with the weird purring perfume bottle.). Today, my mind was nuetral, not sad, not happy, just there and I walked into my room after either a shower of dinner, I can't remember that detail, but anyway I saw an old fortune cookie message on my bed, flipped with the text up and everything, it said "A Happy Event Awaits You". Naturally I was a little tripped out by it, I wondered how it got there and I wondered if maybe my God was telling me that all would be well by using an old fortune. Never know maybe something with be crazy awesome and my life will be loads better for a moment or two, or maybe longer like most of my life (One can dream big right?).

Yep, maybe it'll all get better, best to look forward than to look back I suppose.