|
Look In My Head: Public Version
JB Keyser
Look in My Head: Public Version
September 03, 2008
Today,
Let’s see from the time right now, which is in the middle of English class, all I can say in my head is “I need to drop AP Spanish!” This is because I’m already struggling though Pre-Calculus doing a Voice-Acting Course at the college on Tuesday night. All this working, is slowly building up on how much is on my mind. It’s very maddening to even think how confusing this is.
Yesterday, I got up late and was running around the school. So, when I got home; Pre-Calculus almost done, stories dashing through my mind (as always), role-plays (literary games I play, none of this pish-posh of role-play games. Those are only for people who can’t create their own characters). Driving class (two-hours long), Voice Acting class which is almost three hours long. I was home tired, exhausted with the most tiresome, screaming headache.
Which my mother had given me because I was back on my “Harry Potter” Track, which is when I read the endings of each book and all the good parts of all the books even until midnight.
My hunger was uncontrollable! It was because of the tiny, fiendish meals. I couldn’t touch my computer because my thoughts were only “Food”, “Math” and “Bed”.
I don’t even understand why I thought math was more important than English.
When I think about it… It was probably because I didn’t hear what it was. While the world goes on technical typing sprees, I just like to hear everything. My mother always thinks I’m deaf to her calls, “selective hearing.” I remember Mrs. English precisely saying, “Go on school loop for the homework.” Normally I would act on these commands. They are excuses of to go on the computer for all my literary things.
-----------------------------------------
Now I have to take notes.
-----------------------------------------
Oh my, this is the taste of not doing my homework. It is grueling, it burns. Ms. English is asking if I can write for more than ten minutes constantly, I can answer that question! Cheers to the homework which one I didn’t print out nor did I read.
My gosh, that is just like me listening is what I love doing and retaining is something I do all the time.
When I read it is like watching a movie, when I write it does the same. I can’t do anything about it. It’s just my imagination. I just wish I could keep it under control. My imagination is watching a show. I didn’t create. It is the way I vent emotions and I write dreams down for stories.
---------------------------------------
Now it’s six period, I don’t have a sixth or a fifth and once for once I am both frustrated and flustered. I didn’t even know I could write when I’m so lost, well, I guess as long as I’m talking to myself you hear some of it as well. Perhaps my parents’ dream of me writing in a journal is coming true. Hopefully, they will savor this moment because this has happened before. I get totally into writing my day, today’s thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts don’t even say a word. When this happens, drawing is the only option I have left.
I can’t think of anything else to say for instance…
Actually, I can’t really theorize what I was going to say. Love is not something that just pops up in an argument like the movies portray in movies. Every single director that has ever tried to give thought to the novel “Pride and Prejudice”, it is not well done because in the book a million things are always happening at once and there is not point to say that, “Once upon a time… a girl…loved a prince…” That’s how those fairytales go.
No possible way there I could have dropped mature feelings on this guy because I hardly know him. He is the friend of my friend’s friends.
Our argument was nothing important about art. How you should take your time, which is true. I don’t disagree but it can only work if you have time and your inspiration doesn’t try to run away from you. You then just sketch it out faster. My art used to be nice and smoothe taking a long time.
But in the present everything must be fast, being slow get a person nowhere. My emotions won’t even stick like they used to. Everything is broken up in short sound bites. Which is terrible, meaning is lost in everything when time goes too unbearable fast. When everything is laid into stone as you cut your fingers carving into life.
Can’t think of anything else to say, I’m still hooked on to the argument.
I have an idea… I’ll show him! Ha, ha!
The end, for today that is…
|
Community Member