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~*Please tell me what i should improve or opinions on what could make this story better...Thank you*~


-Sunny Saulations-
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1/1/8 (Chapter 8)
Chapter 8-In The Dawn of Death, Light Creeps.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Where was I? The last thing I can remember was that Misyugo…Misyugo?! Where was that butt hole and why did he do that? I tried getting up but I couldn’t, I moved my hands but then realized I was tied to the chair. I tried to pull my hands from the ropes but I couldn’t, every time I tried to pull my hands from the ropes, it made my wrists red and sore. “Sorry Kairoyo. But I think its time for you to die.” somebody said walking out of the dark. I couldn’t even breathe I was so scared. It was Sovlom. He was the head werewolves brother. He smiled evilly at me. Why did everybody hate me so much…how could he do this to me and not feel any guilt? He pulled out a sword from behind him and looked me in the eye. I felt like I had already died…I put my head down and waited for my demise. CLANG. I looked up and saw something I thought I would never see. Sovlom was dead. His head dismembered from his body, his legs curled back and blood seeping from his hands. I threw up again. Seeing something so bloody and gory in real life made my stomach churn. Something grabbed my shoulder. I screamed. I felt something warm on my hands. I then suddenly realized that somebody was untying me. I moved my hands and felt that the rope was gone. I felt them pick me up, I noticed they were carrying me out of there. I looked up at them when we finally made it into the light. It was Logan. “Logan…How did you find me?” I said frowning while he was still carrying me. “ Austin bit me and turned me into one of them. I knew you were here because I saw Misyugo carrying you through this forest here.” He said looking down at me in his arms. I laid my head on Logan’s chest, he was very warm, and by a guess I would have to say it is 40 degrees Fahrenheit out here. We walked for what seemed like hours till we got to my house. He knocked on the door with his free hand and my mother was there sitting on the couch next to a police officer. “Sweetheart!” my mother yelled taking me from Logan’s arms. My mother kept hugging me and wouldn’t let go. The police officer talked to Logan. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. I looked past my mother and saw something purple shoot to the kitchen. I gave my mom one last hug and walked into the kitchen. I looked around the entire kitchen. Nothing there. I rubbed my head wondering what I had saw. I felt something drip on to my head. I looked up and there was a purple person with dark blue eyes and blonde hair. We both screamed at the same time. She jumped down from the ceiling and looked at me. “Who are you?” I said tilting my head to the side. She smiled and laughed. “Have you never seen a Dark Elf before?” she said still laughing.

iam almost finished with part 1! there is 12 chapters in each part, so i have 4 more chapters till Part 2! Prepare...part 2 is intense.. twisted





User Comments: [2]
1Yin8
Community Member





Fri Nov 07, 2008 @ 12:51am


tis great.... better then ASE atm.... keep it up! ^^ i love it n u need to quit it with the cliff hangers....


Vi3t_Cr3w97
Community Member





Mon Nov 17, 2008 @ 12:18am


..................how long did it take u to think up and type this story??.......i mean.....WOW


User Comments: [2]
 
 
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