There are things you need to realize about me, before you visit.
1) I really am insecure. I don't purposefully fish for compliments yet I find myself doing it because it makes me feel better about myself. The people I grew up with caused me to hate myself and I'm still slowly getting over that.
2) I cant help but worry that I'll disappoint you. You seem to think so highly of me and I don't think I can live up to those standards you have created. You seem to think I'm so adorable, and so do your friends, but I worry when you actually see me, you'll no longer think that way of me. I worry that when you actually see me and see who I am, everything will changes.
3) I am really sensitive to certain things. Believe me, I can take a joke, but there are times where the joke just goes too far. You'll be able to tell when it went too far when I become quite snarky and barely talk. Trust me, it will be pretty obvious.
4) I will never confront anyone, face to face, when I have a problem with them. When someones really upsets me or makes me really, really mad, I just wont tell them. I'll bottle up my emotions and put on a smile when they are around, but once they are gone, I let it all out. I will complain to everyone except the person I am upset with.
5) It takes time for me to get comfortable around a new person. Even though I can kid around with you like Ive known you forever on AIM, it will be a little different in person. It may take a day or so, but I'll be just a little awkward around you for just a bit as I get used to actually having you here. Its nothing against you, I'm just really bad at interacting with new people, even though you really aren't that new to me.
6) I NEVER wear my hair down. I feel like people stare at me when I wear it down and that makes me really uncomfortable. I know youve seen a lot of pictures of me with my hair down, but I am not like that in real life, unfortunately. However, as I do love you, and want to make a good first impression on you, I will probably wear it down when I first see you.
I just want your trip here to be memorable. I want you to have a good time and to enjoy yourself. I just want you to have fun. I do love my brother and Im EXTREMELY anxious about finally getting to hang out with you.
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That's me, about to cry because of my memories.
If I get up and walk away from people when they're laughing or something, it's because I want to talk in private.
I don't expect anyone to even consider comforting me.
And most of all, if I start tapping my fingers when someone's talking to me, that person should stop, there and then.
It means that person is REALLY pissing me off.
Other than that, s**t should be fine.
That's just the stuff that'll initiate the s**t-Fan Routine.