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~*~*~*~*~Gaia-related activity~*~*~*~*~
For now.
After the latest actions by... people in general... I snapped. I can't take the stress and the pressures of being an updater anymore, so I've decided to take a break from being a GEN updater and try to relax a little here on Gaia, while I try to reconcile my organic chemistry grade by studying for the exam that's scheduled for next Friday.
Personally, I think it started back around page 153 of the GEN thread when there was some of the usual cyclic criticism about the GEN that seems to occur every 25 pages or so. It's simply the usual "GEN controls the Exchange" stuff, right? I don't know what was different about this time though... something in me died. I can't explain it very well, but I just lost faith in people. I don't understand why people have such a hard time understanding the responsibilities and pressure of being an updater... they think it simply involves plugging in random numbers and leaving it at that, and not caring about the possible ramifications of the smallest update.
If you thought that, hit the little "Back" button up there on your toolbar and get out of my journal.
I've been a GENer for a year now... but it seems so much longer. I've seen a lot from being associated with it, had a purpose here on Gaia that keeps me on, met so many people... seen so many flame wars and conflicts, and gained more notoriety than I ever thought that li'l ol Manda could ever have.
Initially, I came on this site because Brittany and Angela were on it... but eventually, I came to love the comings and goings of the Exchange... watching the flurry of activity that goes on each day within it. I discovered the GEN thread up at the top of the Exchange and found myself fascinated with the prices some people paid for some of the items... and considering that my first Uncommon item, an Angelic Collar, was purchased from me for 500g when I could've gotten 2k for it, pissed me off too, and I swore I wouldn't let myself get gypped again like that.
Ahh... back in the days of the Chatbox..
So, I started posting in the GEN just because I was curious. I liked having debates about the items with other people...
Then Jynk made the first generation GEN banners. We all considered it fun and part of the joke simply because it was a way to distinguished the truly GEN-obsessed from the other people... but as the weeks and months stretched on, it took on a completely different meaning...
I believe this was around the time people would rather be a GENer than a mod, or so some people claimed. It was insane... what had started as fun and a good time turned into a mark of distinction and prestige...
Amazing...
Then CT stepped down as the only updater, and instead we switched to the G.E.N. dummy account so that she wouldn't be the only one to handle the burden of keeping the GEN updated. I was offered the job for all of my time there. I don't know what made her trust me of course... I have yet to figure that out...
But anyway, I jumped at the chance to help out my favorite place to live... and perhaps because of that, it's changed my life.
Sounds cliched doesn't it? But it's true. Without my integral work in the GEN, I would never have become such a diplomatic person, which was sorely needed back during the Wars of the past... or become the person I am in real life, where I'm not so afraid of taking charge or speaking my own mind.
I must sound so pathetic right now, stressing over a message board forum... but in my mind, it's justified too. I've come to care about the GEN to the point that I've lost sleep during the times when it was glitched or got deleted and needed restoration.
I've come to care about the people who use the Exchange sporadically, the ones who rarely come in and don't know everything about it... I don't want to see anyone get ripped off by a bad deal like I was when I was new.. perhaps that's the purpose of my behavior and feelings toward the GEN... I don't know.
Heh... so perhaps that's the root of my problem... I care about the users of Gaia. I'm even nice enough to post when a thread is in the wrong place in the Exchange in a nice manner so that the person who incorrectly posted isn't chased away from the entrepreneurial world that the Exchange is...
Again, it makes me wonder how did I ever come to this, to sympathize and want to help out the users when half the time, they don't understand the burden of being an updater, and the other half of the time, they complain that I or CT update too slowly.
We have lives... yet people don't seem to understand that Gaia is not life. It's a game that we come here to meet new people, learn new things, and have fun... not to be stressed out and worry about every little thing that happens.
Perhaps that's a factor of life... you come to sympathize and care about people you've never seen or met in real life, or the things you do that are entirely on the Internet.
Don't get me wrong. I love Gaia, and I don't intend to leave or anything... but... I just can't take the stress anymore.
Okies. Just to reiterate the two points I've made...
-Aqua's taking a week-long break from updating because of Gaia and IRL stress
-I whine too much
OWARI.
 Aquafire · Sat Nov 13, 2004 @ 06:42am · 4 Comments |
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